How to deal with ex having used me

[Doingitaloneandproud]

Hey all

So I was in a relationship for 6 months, he told me he loved me so much, I was his future; he introduced me to his friends and kept saying I wasn't a secret just because it wasn't on social media

He dumped me unexpectedly by text and spent two weeks going back and forth saying he wasn't sure what he wanted to then say he wanted to be single and focus on work

Anyway my friend saw him on Tinder less than a week after and it turns out 3 months ago his uncle warned my dad he does this to women all the time. I'm finding it so hard as now I feel like the whole relationship was a lie and he didn't mean anything he said.

It's really set me back hearing that and I can't put my finger on why, I guess it hurts feeling like nothing was true, why do men behave like this? Not all I know but why would you treat women like this

I saw on another thread a poster who said, isn't it fabulous when the rubbish takes itself out and that made me laugh.

He was trash - but fortunately he's fucked off and you don't need to worry about him anymore. Yes, the whole relationship was a lie - he didn't mean any of it, so please don't waste any more time or energy on a wanker like this.

Some people are immature as fuck. He'll be playing games with someone else on Tinder - but that's not your fault, or your worry.

Move on to someone better.

Not all I know but why would you treat women like this

Immaturity, selfishness, ego, sex, shallowness, lack of empathy.

It is hard to try and understand why he lied , and it will take some time to see things clearly . I'm still struggling a bit with that . I'm changing the question from " why did he lie so much?" to "why did I believe it all so quickly ?" And "Why did I fall for it when I knew there were things I saw that made me unsure? . I think you need to start thinking of about you and stop thinking about him.

You did dodge a bullet and one day you will see that .

I am sorry , it's a horrible feeling

Because they are immature and selfish, unfortunately you can't believe a man that tells you he loves you too soon, his actions have to back his words up, be wary of men promising a future with you when they hardly know you, it's likely to be BS.
Put it down to a learning experience and he if reaches out to you again, ignore him and don't give him or anyone else a chance to play you and be unsure of what they want, be sure that you don't need that kind of crap.

Thank you all so much, you are right and I have blocked him on everything, he was on text and call but not social, now he is so there is no way to contact me and if I'm honest I'm glad I made the choice to block and he didn't.

Just amazes me how people can behave, I do believe it says a lot about him, and I'm gonna use this time alone to heal myself. I shouldn't have fallen for it so quickly and believed everything he said, I think I just wanted it so badly, the happy family life rather than single mum still living at home saving for a place

And I do love that quote about taking the trash out! He's bound to be talking to many to fuel his ego, I'm just glad I found out 6 months in rather than if we were further along!

Guess I got lucky there! Just sad to know you've been used and discarded like nothing, I'm glad I could never imagine treating someone like that, not to sound big headed but it makes me a better person I'm sure

Seriously , I am so happy you blocked him and took control . I know it's hard to do , like you're closing a doer on something? But I'm telling you you are closing the door to misery and it's going to make the place you are in so much safer and nicer to be .

He was never your friend , it wasn't your fault that you thought he was , but you haven't lost a damn thing .

Well done xx

Door not doer lol

Why didn’t your dad warn you?

The man is obviously a substandard tossbag and you’ve had a lucky escape.

Well done on blocking- it feels good, doesn't it?

Some men are just users who will do and say anything to get laid. Wankers.

You could look back and see if there were any red flags. Was he overly charming ('love bombing') at the start, including spending a lot of time messaging and asking how you were etc?

Or, identify when he first did something unpleasant, and decide to yourself that if any bloke is like that again, you will bin them immediately.

Thank you so much, it does feel so so good, I'm glad I made that choice rather than him making it

You're right in that he wasn't a friend, it was an image portrayed and now I can stand back and see pieces slot together to make sense

My dad didn't tell me as he said to his uncle he seems like he changed, they'd met him and he'd been so charming and friendly that dad thought it couldn't be true anymore

He was definitely over invested at the start then disappeared fora week or so and reappeared on tinder (saw on my friends), then he came back and I believed him when he said he didn't reactivate just didn't deactivate. Makes me think maybe he tried to find another girl and couldn't in a week so came back