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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sex life - stress and lockdown

5 replies

roarfeckingroar · 07/06/2020 13:44

Hi everyone

Im wondering if I need to worry and would value advice from people in long term successful relationships - whether I don't need to worry or I should grab the bull by its horns so to speak and intervene before it's too late.

Since lockdown our sex life has dipped significantly. DP works away at the moment Monday - Friday and while there he's under huge pressure, working 13+ hours each day. He also has a few big frustrations at work as the company is going through a restructure. I'm WFH doing 10-12 hours each day and I'm also 5 months pregnant.

Our sex life was always good. Our relationship is great, we get on very well, we're engaged, we're very affectionate and tactile, emotionally close, speak for an hour minimum every evening he's away (he's staying in the only apartment they could find in the middle of nowhere with a male colleague), it's just our sex life is now once every week, whereas before all this it was a lot more. He's also struggled to ejaculate a few times - he blames being v stressed, partly because he's on call 24/7 at the moment.

I'm not really worried but at the back of my mind I am. Im scared it's a slippery slope that may not recover. But this may also be pregnancy hormones. I'm knackered too so it's really not that I'm missing sex, I just don't want our relationship to suffer long term.

Is this just what life is like and to be expected? Or would you worry in my position? All advice welcome and appreciated. Thank you.

OP posts:
roarfeckingroar · 07/06/2020 14:36

Anyone?

OP posts:
Teacaketotty · 07/06/2020 14:39

Honestly I wouldn’t worry at all - working those hours with added stress I’m not surprised. Our sex life took a dip during my pregnancy also but recovered just fine and is now better than ever!

Good luck with your pregnancy x

Dexy2020 · 07/06/2020 16:09

Do you think your partner may be holding back a bit due to being worried about the baby at all when having sex? I agree with @Teacaketotty ours also dipped a lot during pregnancy but is much better now :D xx

roarfeckingroar · 07/06/2020 17:25

Thank you for your reassurance. He may be holding back a bit but it's more than that. Probably is just work.

OP posts:
YRGAM · 07/06/2020 19:30

Not wanting to speak for all men but stress can have an enormous impact on male 'performance' and therefore desire to initiate. Add the feeling of shame that men can feel for not being able to accomplish something that men are taught from adolescence is one of the foundations of their masculinity, it can make it easier emotionally to withdraw from sex and even intimacy.

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