Marriage rut or?

[frazzledmomof3]

Together 10 yrs married 5. Had 3 children in the last 4 years. Lately I'm beginning to resist his affections. He's a good man. He works long hours both at work and at home on the land. I think maybe I resent the fact he's gone all the time and I'm left with 3 kids a house and everything that goes with running a home. I never have spare time and I'm exhausted. I do wondering if I have PND. I don't want this to be our life. I do love him but I just get irritated the minute he walks in the door. Anyone have any advice?

Sounds like you very wisely addressed the crux of the issues you are deeply feeling. Resenting he is gone a lot & you with the kids, no self-time, etc.. It seems like an authentic discussion between the two of you needs to be had. At a time you are not feeling stressed, and making it safe for each to share openly. It`s important he knows what/how you are feeling. If you can think of some things that might help with daily struggles before your discussion with him, to suggest, all the better. You say that you do love him, so that is very telling also. Best results can come if you each approach it with a growth mindset & want of helping the other feel more peaceful as well. But it is essential to communicate your feelings to him. Best wishes.

This does get easier as kids get older which is no help right now.

What would need to happen to make time for you?

You have three young children, it's exhausting, tell him your feeling the struggle. It will get better, come September will any of them be in nursery/school? ask family or pay a babysitter so you can go out to dinner together after lockdown. When he is at home is he good with helping out with the kids?