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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Online date - slow with replies

27 replies

toffeeapple123 · 06/06/2020 17:24

Went on a first date last Saturday - socially distanced walk in a park. I wasn't feeling a spark and did not expect to see him again, although he seemed a very nice guy with excellent prospects - great career, similar values etc. At the end of the date, he said to let him know if I fancied meeting up again, to which I replied 'sure why not'. Bit confused why he did tbh Confused as it wasn't the best date. Plenty of conversation but no big spark.

Anyway, he followed up later that evening with a message to say how much he enjoyed the date and how pretty I looked in the sun. We had a short exchange and I thought 'why not, I will give it another chance' but then I did not hear from him for two days. He sent a few nice messages and asked if I fancied a chat but it was early evening and I was tired and did not feel like talking (long bad day at work). I sent a very nice reply though. Again, he took two days to reply. By this point, I thought: I'll bin him off, he's clearly not that into things and perhaps even has me on the back burner. So I didn't reply. But today again he sent a follow up message to ask how my weekend was going.

Am I right he's not that interested, right? Otherwise we'd be planning a second date, and he wouldn't be taking days to reply to basic messages.

He does not seem like a player - he is quite geeky, doing very well in a posh job, and was very clear he wants to meet someone to settle down with at this stage in his life. He even talked about financing and how he is saving to buy a house with a partner in the next few years etc.

Little confused by his behaviour!

Am I right to bin him off?

OP posts:
Aerial2020 · 10/06/2020 11:55

He's messaging lots of women at the same time.
He's not that bothered.
But you're not either? Say nice to meet you and end the chat.

ChristmasFluff · 10/06/2020 18:57

I'm not sure what the problem is here?

You're not that interested, and he's not that interested either. You are both thinking 'maybe give it a chance if I've got nothing better going on?' How is that problematic? Either let it carry on, each on the backburner, or bin him off.

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