Should I just walk away?

[OhNoGroken]

I am aware that this is probably a very one-sided version of events but I’m going to try.

Same sex relationship. Together for approximately 18 months. We have very interesting and deep conversations about a huge variety of topics, laugh a lot together, are generally very supportive and encouraging of each other. I have a young child and eventually they met and fell in love with each other too. We had some really happy times with lots of affection and the sex was great too.

However, I would say she is very insecure. Needs a lot of reassurance, is quick to become suspicious and is very quick to storm off. I am more outgoing, chatty and relaxed about things in general. She would probably say that I’m too relaxed about things in general and that I’m flirting/constantly looking elsewhere. There is honestly no one else I am interested in and I love this woman so much, but I can see how sometimes I might not be as sensitive to her insecurities as I could be.

We seem to be in a constant cycle of being happy for months, then I’ll do something she perceives as wrong or hurtful, she withdraws suddenly and becomes very cold and distant until after a while she has another change of heart. We have discussed and analysed this cycle endlessly but it’s just happened again.

Is there any hope?

There is always hope! She sounds very insecure and you need to determine why. If you love her I think reassurance and building up her self esteem will help. Sorry I can't help more. It does sound like a relationship worth saving though

Thank you so much for your reply. I do know why she is insecure but I wouldn’t betray her by posting about it here. Trying to hold up someone else’s self-esteem is exhausting and the repeated and sudden ‘rejection’ is painful. But I do see why it’s happening. I’m in a place of hurting right now (she is too) and I don’t want it to keep happening like this forever

Has she tried to talk to someone professional about her self-esteem issues?

Whilst you can try to be supportive and sensitive - you can’t be expected to ‘fall in line’ and act in ways to enable her to act this way every so often

She sounds like she needs a lot of comfort and love! hey .... don't we all sometimes! As long as you let her know that you are there and supportive then that's the most important thing. Try not to loose your patience with her when she is being extra needy (which can be hard, I know myself) you can only do so much at the end of the day. Professional help may be good for her as well as support from you at home x

I don't think you should pander to her insecurity too much. Yes, we should be supportive to partners, but they need to help themselves by getting therapy or medication or sitting with their feelings themselves rather than expecting you to run around trying to make it better for them.

Her suspicions and jealousies shouldn't be this constant theme, if you're faithful. If you are flirting with other people, stop. But otherwise behave as you would, and she needs to start to deal with where the insecurity comes from and how not to take it out on you.