This is taking the p**s isn’t it

[Divorcingdiva]

I am in the final stages of divorcing my H. We broke up last August (my choice) and by September it became clear that we couldn’t live under the same roof for many reasons, there is a history of abuse verbal and physical. Whilst STBXH has had a lot of therapy and improved a lot over the years the abusive streak is still there.
I have two young children and I didn’t want them to live in a toxic atmosphere. H would never leave the family home so I moved out with the children into a rental house nearby.
For the last 10 months I have continued to pay half the mortgage plus the rent on my new house. The house is up for sale but unfortunately it was fallen through due to C19.
H is expecting me to continue paying half the mortgage until the house sells on the basis it was my choice to move out.
The marital home whilst being a marital asset is solely in my name.
Now.. I have sustained paying £3k per month on rent/mortgage for 10 months but it means after bills etc I have nothing left whilst H is bragging that he has saved £50k.
I rang my solicitor in despair who told me that our financial order states that H is liable for the mortgage in total whilst he lives there.
Clearly he hasn’t clocked this when he signed it (he didn’t both getting a solicitor) and is going to go mad when he finds out.
I am really scared of his reaction when I tell him he is legally liable to pay the mortgage or he has to move out.
It makes me realise I am still scared of him:
He is taking the piss expecting me to pay half the mortgage as well as renting another house for me and the kids isn’t he?!

I moved out because he was being verbally abusive and I wanted to get some peace for the children and I. He would never agree to leave, he is very very materialistic and doesn’t want to let go of the big house. I think staying would have damaged our children. The court order states that he is liable and indemnifies me from mortgage liability

Stop talking about this with him. The mortgage is in your name so it’s none of his business. You are having too much contact with him. He shouldn’t be allowed to get to the stage of “blowing up” because there shouldn’t be that much contact. It’s too many messages. Stop. You need to just follow the legal advice from your solicitor about what to do. Everything gets sent in legal letters to him. If he says you have to repay what he pays well then the same goes for him. He’s made no payments so surely he isn’t entitled to half equity? Your mortgage payments come out of the profits first. You need to be self focused here and stop worrying about fair. He’s been taking the piss. Fair is over. You should be living in that house until your kids turn 18 and then the house gets sold. Speak to your solicitor about that. Stop fretting and find somebackbone. The marriage is over. Who cares what he says or thinks! Nobody.

Call the bank and arrange a mortgage holiday to give you breathing space while this is sorted. You also need to stop with the emotion. Separate emotion and facts. Finances are facts. Emotion gets put elsewhere. You’re letting fear and emotion lead you. Finances are done based on law. Not on what feels right or what he thinks.

If the court order states he’s liable then get the solicitor to write a letter. Calculate how much he owes you. The solicitor writes that unless he pays that money he will be taken to court. He’s a bully and he is living rent free. It’s not acceptable. I hope you’re claiming child maintenance too?

I told exH I was thinking about it and that’s when it blew up. He said he could afford to pay the full mortgage but would need to give him half back when we sold the house.

I wonder, OP, whether he would have been as communicative as you are being? Isn't it more likely he'd instruct his solicitor to contact you with his demands?

As previous posters have said let your lawyer do the job they are paid for and reduce the time you are within range of him.
**

You are all right. I have zero feeling towards him other than fear and I try and keep things even and pleasant for the children’s sake but that just means he continues to take and take as he is more bothered about money than the kids.

What is the court order? Have you got a signed financial consent order outlining share of assets ?

Yes basically when we did the order he said he had no savings , has saved £50k in 5 months apparently! The basis of the order is we both keep assets that were ours, all of our money is in the house and that is split 50/50 once sold

@Divorcingdiva

I moved out because he was being verbally abusive and I wanted to get some peace for the children and I. He would never agree to leave, he is very very materialistic and doesn’t want to let go of the big house. I think staying would have damaged our children. The court order states that he is liable and indemnifies me from mortgage liability

OK you have a court order! You previously only mentioned a "legal agreement", that's entirely different!