29, toddler, want more kids, awful at dating...

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I'm 29, have a toddler. Left ex due to domestic abuse. Spent the past year and a half working on myself, doing the freedom programme, I've had trauma counselling and am feeling as free and happy as I ever have.

I have dated a couple of people in the last 5 months. One I went on 2 dates with and called it off as he wasn't for me. The other appears to save ghosted me (but that's fine).

I have this awful worry in my head that I've never had to think about before. I'm 29, and would like more children. I want to have them with the right person, so I have become incredibly picky (in terms of compatibility) when it comes to dating. I'm not very good at dating as I am quite awkward initially so may put people off with my nervousness.

I have this deep rooted fear that I think about every day. I'm so scared I won't meet anyone, nobody will want to seriously date someone with a toddler, and I won't meet anyone in time to have another child with. I really would love my son to have a sibling.

Is this a normal way to feel at 29? It took 18 months for me to conceive my son, and I am just scared I'm going to be on my own, he won't have s sibling, etc.

Am I being irrational here? The worry is very real, but I'm not sure if it's necessary...

I think it's fear of the unknown. Five months isn't very long in dating and you've still got quite a bit of time on your side with your fertility, your definitely right to be picky keep being picky or you'll just settle for less which would be a disaster.
Maybe you'll meet a man that has children himself so he understands.

@Crystalspider definitely the fear of the unknown. It's not a nice feeling.

Well done for leaving an abusive relationship and especially well done for all the work you've done on yourself.

Please just relax and have fun. Love happens when you least expect it. Do you have a social life outside of 'dating' or any hobbies. Getting to know someone before the 'dating' bit is always best in my opinion.

But don't lose hope. I met my partner at 40 when I was widowed with 4 children! If he's the right man, he's the right man whatever your circumstances.

Just focus on your toddler and enjoying life and everything will fall into place.

I think it’s completely normal to feel like that at 29. I think it’s more of a panic mode feeling. Lots of women have their kids mid thirties and I think it’s important you take your time as it would be your second time around.

@passthemustard approximately zero hobbies. Had planned to improve this over summer but covid got in the way...

Bloody Covid

It's an understandable worry. I know it's a boring thing to say but I would forget the OLD. Find things you enjoy to do, when COVID is over I think a lot of people will be taking up new hobbies, trying out new social groups etc. Just do your own thing, enjoy your life and if you're lucky someone good will come along. I'm no good at OLD either, doesn't mean I'm not a good catch though.

@passthemustard it's alright though. It's given me time to really connect with my son. It's actually been lovely despite the pandemic anxiety.

The problem I have re actually meeting someone in person is that I'm a lone parent to a toddler and have no idea how I will ever find time to do anything for myself until he's in school!

I have 2 kids aged 3&5. I left an abusive relationship. It's very, very early days but I have met someone wonderful on OLD and he's ooen to having more kids (i am Undecided, because of various other things - 2 difficult pregs, I want to buy a house by myself before moving in with him, I'm already 37 - but the option is definitely there and he's a wonderful dad to his daughter)

I never thought I'd find happiness again, but actually i have never felt like this about anyone. It can happen, in the strangest of ways. Don't give up yet