What's best for the kids?

[Seaside1234]

So I'll start by saying that yes, I am being a wuss at the moment - I have been here a few times recently dickering about leaving my husband. If it was just us we'd be over. But I am concerned about not knowing what's best to do for our kids (11 and 7). My feeling is that they'd be happier with us living separately, and that they probably know something's wrong, but it would be devastating at the time, especially with everything so wrong anyway just now. I don't think H is a terrific father, but he might say I'm not a terrific mother (I expect a certain level of behaviour from them, he ignores bad behaviour and doesn't set limits until suddenly losing it and walking out because he's fed up with them). But what if I'm wrong? What if they're actually fine, and if I insist we split up they'll be hurt for life by it all? They would be my number one priority throughout anything that followed, and I hope he would be able to be an ok co-parent.

Thanks. I'm so scared to jump without having thought through everything fully x

Sorry to hear about your situation op.
Look, there is never a good disision in times like this. Someone is always going to get hurt. Your kids are 7 and 11 so hell yes they would know what is up between you and your dp. They might not have said anything but kids can feel it. Imagine having them living with that feeling for how many more years to come. You are better off giving them 2 seperate, happy lives. Then 1 semi-miserable one.

Even for yourself. You know that you are not were you are supposed to be. Why stick around. For the sake of the children? But what if they are unhappy too on the inside. Or getting caught up in all the tention. I understand people who want to stay together for the kids and live as one big family, but at the same time:Who are you actually doing a favor with it?because you yourself aren't happy. Same goes for your husband and your kids would somehow def be affected by tensions in the house. So yes by staying you will remain that one big family. Just not one big happy family. Which would be sad.

Life doesn't always go to plan. So make a new plan and try to make the future as bright as you can for yourself. The love that will come from that will spread around you.