Shall I give him a chance

[Melibony]

I’m 28, met a guy same age, overall he’s nice and treats me with respect. However in almost every conversation he says somethings I find sexist and stereotypical. Examples: a woman’s shouldn’t be dominating in bed, a woman’s role is to look after a home, women get scared easily, women are weaker. I call him out on it every time and he claims they are just words and he don’t mean to be sexist, he says it’s just his way of talking. I don’t know whether to give him a chance. 10 years from now I don’t want to be married to someone telling me what my role is and is not. I hate sexism. What do you think?

Fucking hell. Your place is in the home? Wtf why would you be considering this!

They could have feminists slogans on he can read while you blow him.

😂😂😂

@Bunnymumy

If it's that prevalent then it isnt just a slip of the tongue without thinking. He is deeply misogynistic

Also, you've TOLD him it isnt ok to talk to you like that, yet it continues. Which is deeply disrespectful. And also, probably intentional. As a 'you dont control me' attitude.

If he were saying 'fuck you're every sentence and you asked him to stop and he didnt, how would you feel? ...because tbh, he is actually saying 'fuck you, and everyone like you'

And he may be being nice in other ways atm, but considering he looks down on women, he will figure out that you are one once you stop being all new and shiny, and his contempt for them will transfer to you.

Ultimately he is not a nice person. And he doesnt respect you.And theres no way I would choose to love my life with someone like that.

This

Just run. Now. Seriously.

Absolutely not. If it is bothering you now (which it should), it is going to annoy the hell out of you, a year or more from now. Men like this do not see women as fully human. Women are just a means to an end for them, whether it's sex, having kids or keeping house.

Find someone who appreciates you as a whole person.

You can do SO much better than him.

Thank you everyone straightening me up. Being 28, soon 29 I must admit I feel the pressure of being with someone. But all of you are right, I needed some tough love here, I 'll just dump him, doesn't matter if he is a 'nice person' appart from these comments. He doesnt even say it with anger, he just says like he doesnt think what he is saying is wrong. So the mindset is really the issue there. Better single than in bad company eh? thank you ladies.

Why would you even contemplate having a relationship with someone like this

This is your honeymoon period when he is on his best behaviour.... picture yourself when that's over and you are chained to the kitchen sink ...

Good decision OP, I would honestly rather be single forever than with someone who thought like this.

No no and no
Also: run in opposite direction from this man

Please

He's not a nice person. He's a sexist misogynistic prick from the 1950s. Those views belong in one place, consigned to history and the fact that someonen of just 28 had these views is very worrying indeed.

He knows they're not OK, he just doesn't care. Word of advice, you are not old, and you shouldn't ever settle whatever age you are.

They aren’t just his words they are his views.

It would be a deal breaker 100% for me, and I tend to be open minded and Give others the benefit of the doubt!

Good grief no!

I find it hard to believe he's got to the age of 28 and nobody has ever pulled him up on it before. They can't have done, otherwise he would know that his remarks are sexist.

Or of course they have told him, and he's ignored it and carried on regardless...

Tell him that given that men are generally sexist, aggressive and cause most of the world conflicts you decided to go it alone.
😂

Do young men think/talk like this? My 80 year old father doesn’t. I teach teenagers and they don’t.

He is showing you who he is and you are asking us if you should give him another chance? Come on OP, woman up.

Ugh get rid

@lgtg you're lucky - where do you teach? I have heard all of this and worse from teenage boys since I started teaching 8 years ago. Most recently a y10 told me not to talk over him because "women shouldn't interrupt when a man is speaking" and a y11 who refused to attend a detention I set for him since "it was just those pregnancy hormones making me emotional" and I shouldn't be at work when pregnant. Lovely.

Does he think it's just words if someone calls him 'a thick misogynistic prat who doesn't take responsibility for his views and puts people down constantly with no sign of a conscience'?

Just words and how he talks??!!

No, they're his opinions, his views, his values.

He sounds incredibly sexist and chauvinist.

No, I'm sorry you shouldn't give him a chance.

You're still v young, don't let the thirty lemming off a cliff panic thing get you stuck in a shit relationship with a wanker for the next ten years, with kids involved.

Keep looking, there are other men out there.

I don’t know whether to give him a chance.

Even thinking like this is the problem for SO MANY WOMEN.

Drummed into us that the onus is on us to adapt and make space

'I'm looking for a good, reliable car that I can keep hold of for a good few years. I've test driven one which I like, it's a nice colour, the seats are comfy, it's the make I want but it failed its last MOT, the clutch makes a funny noise every time I change up to third gear, and I can just see spots of rust around the door frames starting to take hold. But I feel bad. I've test driven it now, should I give it a chance?'

No.

Oh and yes he's sexist, of course he is sexist.

The problem you have here is letting your very clear observations be swayed by the sexist person saying ahh but no, I didn't mean it that way.

No 1 - sexist people are stupid people. Why are you engaging with stupid?

No 2 - sexist people will be definition dismiss what you, a woman, says. Because they are stupid sexists, and even if they don't even realise they're doing it, anything you say they automatically think less of and not give proper consideration to.

No 3 - you see their sexism, it doesn't need ratification by anyone/anything else. They think their sexist comments are just 'talking'? Wrong. what else is there to say?

Just walk away!

Yep - sexist waste of space - bin him. Just words. How ridiculous. Imagine if you started telling him he had a really small dick and was rubbish in bed and then told him not to get upset because it was just words...

Tell him he's a dull uninteresting waste of oxygen. If he complains tell him it's 'just words'.

Good. I'm glad you're getting him gone.

Just think. If he's like this now - right at the beginning of your relationship - what would he be like if you were married/living together, pregnant/on maternity leave/a SAHM with you unable to contribute little to the home financially?