My boyfriend always says he is extremely in love with me, loves me, wants to have a family with me and spend his lifetime with me. We are in a long distance relationship (we planned to see each other) but I start feeing like I've made lots of sacrifices and he still does things even though I have asked him not to.
On my birthday, I didn't expect gift but at least wishes from him manifesting his love making me special on my birthday. In return, while EVEN STRANGERS wished me tons of things, my boyfriend who actually got the gift of the gab creating long posts on social media, only said "Happy birthday'' plus emoji which made me feel awful. I am not materialistic but when I remember the fact months ago, he himself wanted to send me a gift and since I wasn't comfortable, we had a deal that he can send present to me if I forward one to him too. The result - I sent him present and he actually never did making excuses that he didn't have time for months while buying stuff for himself! Since I'm not materialistic, I forgot this and didn't pay attention but now when he didn't even give me a single wish, care, and "I love you" on my b-day, I began seeing this situation diffrrently.
When I shared with him how I felt on my special day, he was so surprised acting like ''2 more words mean nothing'' saying things like ''Sorry for not making you happy on your b-day" but he didn't mean that it was kinda sarcastic as if he got MAD AT ME? When I said that he made me sad he only wished me a goodnight and almost hung up, leaving me with feeling that I'm petty and ungrateful.. He ruined my special day and my notion for him because yes, everyone has a different way to express his love but he usually loves saying bombastic words and on my special day, while I didn't even expect material things and just love and care, he didn't even put a single effort and treated me like a stranger.
What hurts the most is that although I know I shouldn't believe men's words but actions, I actually did as initially, he seemed different. Not a womanizer, like most of the boys I have known, kind, thoughtful, caring. When we talk, everything is fine - we laugh, talk sweet things, share. But BEFORE the conversation it's me waiting him and staying up late pretending that I am not sleepy because I am happy when we talk. Although I am working now and he is not. Almost every time we talked, he was playing games saying that he can still talk to me.
I have told him it was really hard for me to stay up that late asking him just to wake up a bit earlier so that we can have more time to communicate. He said it was difficult to change his sleeping schedule and he will try but that is just not happening. There were times when after waiting him to call me, I finally suggest him to talk thinking that he is been busy so far and he's asked me is it okay if it's in 30 minutes for example, because he is still watching a movie or playing a game that would finish that time. And thus, I realized that when he woke up or going to bed, his first thing to do is play or watch something and just after that, it's me. And he even plays when we talk even then not giving me his full attention while I have always done the opposite... The simple things I wanted didn't happen.. and they are actually not very simple. Should I finally leave him after this situation, the lack of care and understanding plus his behaviour because I know that although he claimed that he was afraid of losing me and all those stuff, when we have had little fights, he almost never reached out first. I know that even now when it's his fault he still don't text, being super active on social media as if nothing happened while I lost appetite, cry and have nightmares.. he won't say sorry and even text me again until I text first?