Is he using me?

[evie1990]

So I met a guy a few months ago
We have met up around 6 times
I really like him so much
He says all the right things before we meet and when we are together, we then have sex
Then after he's done seeing me he goes completely silent on me
He doesn't follow me on Instagram anymore but he views my stories and replies to them from time to time
He met my baby son in December and that was the last time I saw him, but he has said a couple of times that he misses us both
He's been extremely silent lately and hardly ever talks to me
I have been living with my parents for the past couple of years but have just moved into my new home, he has just found out from my Instagram story now all of a sudden I get a text asking if he can come over to see me
I've been thinking about it all day and would absolutely love for him to come over (but socially distancing in the garden) as I'm really into him but my heart is telling me he is just using me for sex so I haven't replied to him yet
Should I just go with my gut feeling and cut him off?
It hurts how much I like him but I just don't feel he likes me back
It feels like he only wants to see me when it suits him and its always for sex
I really wish he would like me back but I'm afraid he's just using me and it hurts so bad

Don’t beat yourself up! There is always an element of risk at the beginning of new relationships. A liar, a cheat, a user, an abuser will never introduced themselves as such and will NOT have your best interests at heart.
The only way to tell the difference is time. In the meantime, you are responsible to protect your own and your baby’s interest. Don’t trust, don’t believe, don’t develop feelings, don’t make them part of your family, watch for actions. I’m not saying to be cold hearted but just see it as an option, a friendship, going on date, doing fun things until the new person has demonstrated to you that they are looking for the same thing as you. This means don’t introduce anyone to your baby until they have fully earn your trust first.

If the guy is not genuine / just after sex he would probably see this as a waste of time. A guy who id interested in you will actually enjoy getting to know you.

Of course it’s never a guarantee but it will reduce the risk of being used 💐

Op, it sounds like your self-worth has taken a battering. You need to protect yourself and build it up.

Your first step is identifying that this guy's interest recurring has coincided with you getting your own place. He's thinking convenient sex, potentially the home comforts, taking the piss out of you because he knows you like him. But you've spotted that, so well done. (Otherwise you wouldn't have come here asking.)

Your first step of avoiding a user/potential cocklodger. Now block the idiot on everything and try to view it as a bullet dodged.

You need to value yourself higher. Don't be in a rush to have a man in your life until you do, as all you'll get are users and losers.

Yes, he's using you. He doesn't want a garden chat, he wants sex in your new house.

Block him.

And your son should not be meeting new men so soon...

And have you thought about doing the Freedom Programme? It should help you not be so vulnerable to men like this.