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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

2 years TTC after MMC

9 replies

Sarahbeanie29 · 04/06/2020 20:12

Hello!

I’m very new to this and basically just wanted to chat to people whom might of been or are in a similar situation! I had a MMC back in 2018 coming up to 2 years now and nothing has happened since. I am completely heartbroken and if I’m honest when I first started this journey 2 years ago I was completely naive to the fact that this was never going to be an easy journey. I’m now 29 and have recently brought our own home. I feel like I’m at the perfect time to become a mummy and it’s the only think I want in the world. It’s just not happening for us. And I don’t know why!? I am going to go back to the doctors and start the ball rolling for hopefully IVF. My bf is going to have a blood test and sperm count as all my tests have come back normal so just need to rule anything out. I look at everyone else and just wish I could have my own family. I’m sick of hearing ‘when the time is right’ the time has been right for the last 2 years but someone just doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Any tips/comments or anything just to get me out of this shitty head space I’m in. I’m a bit emotionally at the moment! 5 days till AF is due and I just know I’m not pregnant again this month. So sorry for the long message! X

OP posts:
Wishingforamiracle19 · 04/06/2020 20:28

I’m very sorry to hear about your MMC - a positive you can take from this is that you can conceive naturally so hopefully you will again. I feel your pain, we started our TTC journey when I was 30 and at 31 and one failed round of IVF we still have no baby. Unfortunately we have male factor infertility and cannot conceive naturally so we are gearing up for our next round.

It’s hard and the only thing I can really suggest is try to take control as much as you can - take supplements (pregnacare conception etc), cut down alcohol/caffeine, eat well and get enough sleep. Speaking to your GP means they can do various tests to give you a better idea as to what’s going on.

I also find this part of Mumsnet really helpful
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility

Good luck!

Sarahbeanie29 · 04/06/2020 21:29

Thanks so much for that! Baby dust to us all! If you don’t mind me asking you mentioned IVF after 1 year, did you go through the doctor for that or was that private? I have finally convinced my bf to get some tests done. He is very anxious about it all because one he hates doctors and hasn’t been since a kid! I mean what man does? And I think it’s the unknown for him. I guess I was naive to think having a baby would happen so easily for us! X

OP posts:
jbee1979 · 04/06/2020 21:51

I had a MMC and tried for 5m before we struck lucky on month 6. I feel for you, trying 2 years. I was much older than you though, so I was demented about the loss, the time it was taking, and my ticking biological clock.

The month we struck lucky, I had given up. I had the worst cold/flu thing. I was talking hot Epsom salt baths to draw the germs out of me. I filled up on co-codamol and decongestants (previously avoided due to the effects on cervical mucus). I drank a lot of cider and wine to kill the germs. I didn't want to have sex at all, but we were on a weekend away in a guest house so after too much cider, and lot's of painkillers etc, we felt obliged to have holiday sex. Nothing fancy, no lying about, pillows under the bum, just drunken coma style.

We were using the conceive+ gel, or pre-seed stuff because we had some, when I'd been religious about it and ovulation tests etc. No ovulation test. No saving up sperm for ovulation day.

I tried to control everything, to maximize our chances every month, then blamed myself for my failure and spent more money on something different. I would have bought magic beans if Amazon gave them 5*.

Please be kind to yourself. Consider a month off. Eat what you like, drink what you like, pee straight into the toilet without catching a sample. Recharge and snuggle your DH, get into a box set, stay up late, be naughty. It's hard work TTC, I will never do it again, I'm still scarred for life.

Good luck, it's a lottery, every one is a miracle xx

Wishingforamiracle19 · 04/06/2020 22:15

@Sarahbeanie29 we had been trying for a while and nothing happened, thought it was odd as I’d been pregnant twice before (both MMC). So we both had tests done and turns out he has cystic fibrosis (asymptomatic) and cannot ejaculate sperm, although does produce it. We did it through our GP and then got one round free on NHS. Oh tell me about it, I think you always think it will be easy and it’s so shocking when it doesn’t happen! But like I said, it’s really positive that you have conceived before. We did see a sperm specialist in London who suggested impryl, it’s expensive but hoping it’s worth it! Also temperature of the balls is a biggie apparently, there are some boxers called snowballs that have freezable inserts to cool down the area. He also said absolutely no cycling, baths or heated seats! X

Wishingforamiracle19 · 04/06/2020 22:18

Also @jbee1979 is right, be kind to yourself! It becomes all consuming which isn’t a good thing. Lockdown has been a blessing in disguise for us as we’ve not been able to have any treatment and I’ve been able to (nearly) forget about it. It’s felt so good to actually relax! You are still so young and have plenty of time. X

Sarahbeanie29 · 05/06/2020 09:19

Thanks ladies!

I am trying to stay positive about it all, but it’s just soul distroying is each month that goes by and I have a period. I’m booking in to see the doctor next week and get the ball rolling for something! I feel like I’ve done everything I possibly can my end now we just need a bit of extra help. I’ve stopped the ovulation tracking a few months back as I feel like it was consuming me. It’s really hard not to get obsessed with it all when it’s the only thing in the world you want! I have a very happy relationship, truly have my soul mate. So fingers crossed by the end of the year we might all have some luck!

OP posts:
Sunf10wer · 05/08/2025 20:15

Hey @Sarahbeanie29 , I know this is a really old thread, I just wondered how you got on in the end with ttc?

I am in the same position, almost 2 years ttc since 2 mmc's and haven't found many others in the same situation

TheSilentSister · 05/08/2025 23:22

@Sunf10wer - with threads this old, it's best to start a new one.

MeTooOverHere · 06/08/2025 03:40

Sarahbeanie29 · 04/06/2020 20:12

Hello!

I’m very new to this and basically just wanted to chat to people whom might of been or are in a similar situation! I had a MMC back in 2018 coming up to 2 years now and nothing has happened since. I am completely heartbroken and if I’m honest when I first started this journey 2 years ago I was completely naive to the fact that this was never going to be an easy journey. I’m now 29 and have recently brought our own home. I feel like I’m at the perfect time to become a mummy and it’s the only think I want in the world. It’s just not happening for us. And I don’t know why!? I am going to go back to the doctors and start the ball rolling for hopefully IVF. My bf is going to have a blood test and sperm count as all my tests have come back normal so just need to rule anything out. I look at everyone else and just wish I could have my own family. I’m sick of hearing ‘when the time is right’ the time has been right for the last 2 years but someone just doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Any tips/comments or anything just to get me out of this shitty head space I’m in. I’m a bit emotionally at the moment! 5 days till AF is due and I just know I’m not pregnant again this month. So sorry for the long message! X

What the heck is an MMC?

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