Can an emotional breakdown cause someone to fall out of love?

[Anonymousdog]

My partner and I live together. She is originally from a town about 40mins away and came to live with me after selling her house. She has had a mental breakdown during lockdown and it has been very tough on both of us. She feels trapped and isolated from family when she feels like this. She has pushed me away and is hot and cold always making decisions like she is moving out, then changes her mind, she’s going back to her mums for a while then doesn’t, she’s not sure she wants this then changes her mind. She is incapable of making a decision as she tells me she feels ‘nothing for everything including me, although she knows she still loves me’. She’s finally moved out and I am feeling very lonely. I ended up trying to tell her how this breakdown was affecting me and it came out all wrong and now she feels guilty and says I have really hurt her. I feel awful, but these last three weeks to a month have really affected me. I’ve been worried about my relationship, I’ve lost weight, i don’t sleep, I can’t eat. It feels like a breakup. I told her I felt as though she was messing me about by constantly telling me she was moving then a day later she wasn’t and my feelings are so up and down. She’s thinking of us having a break, because she knows she’s hurting me and it kills her, but she is unsure of how long she will feel this way. She knows she wants to get a flat with her best friend and that we will barely see eachother when that happens, so she is thinking ahead as to whether or not this will work. I am so confused, 6 weeks ago our relationship was PERFECT. She is the love of my life, we have trust, love, we had a future we were planning together and I never thought it would have what we have. Now I’m sitting next to my phone waiting on her telling me if she wants a break or not. I’m devastated. Can an emotional breakdown cause someone to feel so differently about everything to the point they throw it all away? Only weeks ago we were reiterating how we both never felt so sure about anything other than eachother, to today everything is tits up and I’m about to lose everything

Sorry to hear this is so hard. Do you know what's triggered her meltdown? Looking at this from the other side of the fence, I've struggled during lockdown and broke up with my husband but there was a specific reason. You have to find out what the root cause is and how/ whether you can help her.

She doesn’t know what the cause is. She’s been to counselling and they seem to think it’s because of the trauma of her previous relationship, it was quite traumatic for her and she never fully dealt with it. I am really struggling. Because she can’t make a decision she can’t even decide if she wants a break so I’m sitting here in limbo just waiting

She sounds depressed, is she getting treated for it? Anti-depressants? Feeling a total lack of emotions is very common. Have you tried googling it? Your questions make it sound like you think she's making it up.
If you're not happy, don't feel as if you have to stay with her because of her depression. Breaking up could even be better for her. You don't have to wait for her to make up her mind if that is too hard.

While counseling is great, sometimes it might need the support of medication. Would she consider that? Pls both keep in mind medication won't work immediately, and might make things feel worse for her innitially while hormones balance out. If she would consider it, would you be willing to give her a few weeks to settle her feelings? Not suggesting no contact, just keep conversation open as much as possible for both, but without pressure for her to make a decission.

I know it’s hard, but you have to accept this is probably the end of your relationship. Please stop sitting by the phone and get on building a new life without her.

She sounds depressed. And when one is feeling like that they don’t really know what they feel/want/etc.
In your place - I’d give her time to get better. Support her if you can do something useful, or just let her know you are there and let her family see her through it.
Worst thing you can do is keep pressing her for a decision about the relationship.
Treat this as if she has an illness.

If you indeed love her as much as you say you do - you need to realise that she needs help and support now.