If your OH was cheating did they react like this when asked??

[woodpidgeons]

Did they laugh nervously??

It's a bit of a strange one maybe. I don't want to damage our relationship if I'm wrong. Recently I've been thinking and some things sort of 'clicked' together about a period around 3 years ago where a few things were 'off'. in

I wasn't invited to an important gathering that other partners were. This was very unusual, he usually involves me without my asking in almost everything except the occasional pub with his cousin, he adoringly but at times annoyingly (!!) will try to get me to join in with whatever hobby he has picked up or place he goes.

He said it's because we weren't getting on at the time. We do go through 'phases' sometimes for a month or two so it's hard to tell if this was true. I don't remember. I do remember that I was having some trouble with a big change to my appearance at that time and pushing him away and there were some issues.

Around this time we were walking one day when DC at school. We were talking about a celebrity cheating and he came out with "you'd forgive me!! wouldn't you??" Said in a joking tone but sort of hiding a question way.

We've been together a very long time. I know him so well. I just have a feeling when I put the timings together recently and just a feeling. Not now, but a few years ago, that maybe something minor happened.

If you've got this far, I brought it up to him today.

He was annoyed, looked me in the eyes and said "I've never done anything like that, never cheated.. blah blah etc etc" HOWEVER twice he burst into a proper but strange laugh, mid sentence, not a funny haha laugh but not a slight laugh it was quite loud and so strange.

I'm left wondering what the..

Has this happened to anyone else??

Are you bored?

It's a bit suspicious, but could also indicate innocence- maybe he has thought about it but done nothing, and the guilty laugh is a reflection of that.

You need more to go on. What is your relationship like in general?

Maybe nothing happened, but almost did, or he heading into emotional affair territory, or he was potentially put in a compromising situation. Maybe there was some flirtation going on, which he is since embaressed and ashamed about. Maybe he just didn’t know how to respond to your question.

My husband laughs at inappropriate times. Not to do with cheating but other things and he's always done it. Think its just a reaction when he feels awkward. Like for example if I ask him if he likes my hair etc he laughs.

Could have been nerves, not because he'd done something wrong, but nervous because you thought that? I'm a nervous laugher, used to get me in so much trouble at school. (I control it better know than when I was young, but laughing at inappropriate times was my forte!)

The comment was a bit weird when he said you'd forgive him, but again not concrete evidence really.

You know him best, and can read his body language, it's difficult to do that though when you're analysing every minute gesture and you can read into things sometimes.

I think I'd put this to bed if it were me, it's a bit off when you put it together but nothing that really stands out

Mine didn't laugh at all, no; the opposite, he became very morally superior, while at the same time (as I realised later) totally failing to deny it by deflecting the question and making it all about me making nasty accusations.

Maybe your question made him think the idea was on your mind as you were cheating, and it was nervous laughter.

Why did you bring the subject up?

When I asked my ex about a suspicious friendship that was developing she smirked nervously. Bizarrely her smirk caused me to smile, I have no idea why, maybe a human tendancy to smile when others are. So when I called her out on the smirking she was able to say - well you are too!

It turns out there was involvement there, whether an emotional affair or more I will never actually know as there were many so many small lies at that point - but they were officially together in short time after we split in any event.

So I don't know - I think smirking/ weird laughs can indicate nervousness over a subject matter that is coming up, but whether that is nervousness over having a full blown affair, or a touch of guilt for a feeling an attraction that was never acted on is maybe harder to establish.

My husband nervously laughs whenever I try to have a serious conversation or talk about something he finds uncomfortable or would prefer not to discuss. In his case, it’s not because he’s guilty at all but because he’s really awkward and uncomfortable. He laughs and struggle to make eye contact. But he generally struggles to make eye contact with me during serious discussions anyway, I think he finds it quite intense. It makes him look very guilty but it is awkwardness in his case.

Knowing you're going back over your relationship like an investigation would make him nervous, especially when also confronted. If he's never done anything wrong, he might feel quite negative about the relationship right now. If he has, he'll be on edge. People sometimes laugh when nervous.

Yes, his smile-turned-into-laugh did make me unconsciously smile along. Weird.

Our relationship in general is really good, but with one or two major problems. His irresponsibility with money being one, it's not affected our family in any big way.. yet.. but could do in the future if for example I became unable to work and we had to rely on him alone and he is not responsible, makes me feel unstable. We are still in love after a very long time though, we have so much affection and delight in each other's company that people have commented before that they thought we'd only just met.

I do trust him as much as I feel I could trust a partner, but I also realistic that everyone is falliable. I don't know if that makes sense.

I do tend to over analyse things.

The laughing when nervous definitely isn't normal for him though.

He said "I've never cheated, never so much as hugged another woman, never even said an affectionate word to another woman. Tell a lie (!!), I did hug (two sisters of his friend) at (said event i mentioned earlier) when they were distraught and crying"

😒😒

So his thoughts went straight to the time you suspect?

I don't want to wind you up OP but yes I think the laugh is suspicious. As PP's said it could just be an idle thought or something he had that he's thinking of, though.

at (said event i mentioned earlier) when they were distraught and crying

Him mentioning something happening at the event you weren't invited to (which you thought suspicious) is suspicious. And why would they be distraught and crying at the event?

IDK what you can do about it tho. xxx

@ravenmum Mine didn't laugh at all, no; the opposite, he became very morally superior, while at the same time (as I realised later) totally failing to deny it by deflecting the question and making it all about me making nasty accusations.

Yes, mine too! He got really nasty which is why I knew I was right.

Mine started shouting, denying it and saying there was something wrong with me, it was all in my head. He was lying

Usually the guilty party is incredulous - how could you even THINK such a thing of me, I'm a GOOD person how dare you etc.

I think a nervous laugh is a fairly normal reaction in a situation like this, whether you're guilty or innocent.

My mother used to tell me she knew when I was lying because I'd smile.

In reality, I'd smile because mentally I was always trying to appease her. So it was a smile (unconsciously) trying to intiate a smile in return.

But I used to get punished because, obviously, I was lying. I've held a grudge about that for most of my life.

So just be careful. It's not always straightforward.