How much money goes into the "family pot" each month and how much do you get to spend on yourself?

[Belikeyou]

We can't afford a family holiday abroad because we only save around 200 per month in the family pot- kids shoes/clothes etc come out of this too. Christmas is saved for separately.

DH is adamant that we each have 300 per month purely for ourselves to spend on whatever we like.

He uses his for hobbies and the odd long weekend abroad trip with his mates.

I use mine for clothes for myself, hair appointments, the odd evening out with friends and alternative therapies, mobile phone, union fees etc

I've told DH I think it's selfish that more money goes to us as individuals than into the family pot. He says we don't have enough individual disposable money.

What do others think?

How do other people balance their family disposable income and individual spending money?

We each put the same amount of money into family savings (for holidays) and our individual savings (for cars etc) and the children's savings. So e.g. £200 per month into all accounts.
Whatever we have left after bills + food, clothes, petrol is our own to spend on whatever we choose.
We both work full time and earn roughly the same amount.

We don’t have a family pot or anything like that, but if I want to book a holiday and things are looking tight I’ll stop spending on my own clothes and going out for a while, and expect DH to rein in his spending too.

Disposable income is relative to income but I think £300 a month per adult is a lot of disposable income for a parent. How much of yours do you spend or do you additionally save on the side any of yours?

We both have £400 'spends' each a month ...this is to cover clothes/nights out/hobbies/whatever we want etc.
Then the rest of the money (DH earns a bit more than me) goes to joint account - enough to cover mortgage/all bills/good shopping/mobile phones etc and other accounts... We have separate accounts that we put money into each month (all same online banking so money can be easily transferred) - one for car/house insurance, one savings for DD, one savings for holiday etc.

All money goes into one account and we don't budget a set amount each but just spend what we like. If we are saving for something like a holiday we will take money out once paid to save but if not we see what is left at the end of the month and save that.

It works for us.

Do you have any savings or is everything else spent?

It depends on priorities, and maybe yours is a holiday abroad and his is having an enjoyable amount of spending money a month, I don't think either of you are wrong. If your kids are young, hopefully childcare costs will go down and you will be able to afford a holiday abroad then

We each take £500 and the rest stays in the joint account. Neither of us actually spend that much and we have enough left over in the joint for holidays, days out etc. If we didn’t, that amount would definitely come down as our individual needs for clothes, hobbies etc. are nowhere near as important of being able to do stuff with our dc.

Both our wages go into the family pot and all bills and expenses are paid from the joint account. We pay ourselves an equal monthly allowance into our individual accounts which we can spend without justification. I really can’t understand why other families don’t do this, especially the higher earner having more ‘spends’. Just seems ridiculous and unfair.

@Ginsodden this is what we do. How much monthly allowance do you have each in comparison to what stays in the family pot?

We put 2k each into joint account to cover bills and family things.

The rest is mine to do as I please which is about £1800!! Wouldn't have it any other way never would I answer to anyone about what I spend money on lol

All money goes into the family pot.
£75 each per month to DH and I for ourselves. This covers any clothes, books, hobby costs, makeup, non-family socialising, gifts (except to parents), mobile phones and credit etc., though not haircuts (I only get mine cut once a year anyway). A few years ago we only had £30 per month each so this feels like loads but I usually get through most of it.

So in other words a ogre with your husband. Life is short why shouldn't you be able to spend money on yourself without considering others? Or maybe I'm selfish!

We have a joint account and both wages go into the joint minus some savings for rainy days. We they pay all bill's from the joint and discuss any big purchases with each other. Neither of us have to justify what we spend but if we've been a bit spend happy one month we try to reign it in a bit the next, we're both aware of what bill's need paying and that is always a priority before any personal spends. All savings in the joint go towards family holidays, xmas, treats, date nights etc but we just discuss it first...with my ex husband it was totally different I had to justify to the last pound what I gaf spent and then would have to go begging cap in hand to him when on maternity leave if I wanted to buy anything at all. If he didn't think I needed whatever I wanted the money for I.e coffee shop coffee when baby was sleeping, a magazine, new lipstick etc then he wouldn't "lend" me the money. Always vowed I would never be made to live like that again! It was a miserable existence!

All wages into the joint account and then we get £200 'spends' each. Used to be £500 before DC! Feels quite tight but we can each use the joint account as we please - I'd just let DH know and OK it with him if it was a big number.

If we were going short on other things we would cut our spends - this is what we did when we had DS and our incomes dropped and expenses increased

We don't have a family pot

No joint account, I’ll never make that mistake again. We each pay set bills, Which are about the same and have a good bit left over each month. We spend what we like, neither answers to the other. For example, last month he bought a motorbike and that’s absolutely fine with me. Once all bills are paid I’m happy with that. He’s always giving me money and making sure I have enough. Works for us.

For years dh has saved £1000 per month into what became known as the holiday account. And that’s what it’s used for. Any big holiday expenditure - flights, accommodation etc would come from that account.

Separate accounts.
When dc were little and I didn't work dh paid all the bills and I bought what the dc and I needed and told what I'd spent and he stumped up.

When I went back to work- DC were 5 and 8 he started giving me housekeeping for food £500pcm and I bought my clothes and the dc's clothes and hair cuts - oh and stopped asking for petrol money. At the time I cleared about £650 pcm. My salary has risen, the dc have grown up and he still gives me housekeeping.

We have never had a household account. We have never been accountable for our spends - except for a v tight year when ds was a baby, I gave up work and dh wasn't earning much.

Live in my own, so no pot, savings cover car repairs, house stuff, save the change hol money.
£83 saved every month, excluding save the change

We both take £400 a month personal spends and the rest goes into the joint account. In times do financial stress we have lowered that personal amount to £50 per month each

This covers any clothes, books, hobby costs, makeup, non-family socialising, gifts (except to parents), mobile phones and credit etc

How do you make £75 cover all those things? Unless you literally don’t buy any clothing, make up etc except once a year

We have a joint account and buy whatever we want for ourselves. DH doesn’t buy anything for himself other than wine. If he was a spendthrift or had expensive hobbies or tastes we might need to actually set a budget but as it is I just keep an eye on the joint account and don’t overspend.

Joint account here for everything. Both our wages go in and we each buy what we need / want.
But we are both careful & neither of us go crazy with spending.

I’d prioritise a holiday over some of the spending. You have £600 spare each month but can’t/won’t save say 1/3 of that to go on holiday? That seems odd to me. It does seem unfair on your children. Basically it’s being led by your partner’s hobby.