Losing attraction...

[LOrchid]

I've come to realise that sometimes I just don't feel attracted to my partner. It comes in ebbs and waves, so it doesn't feel enough of a reason to break things off. It's just we've been together a good few years now and we've both aged somewhat (he's balding, I'm getting wrinkles). I'm aware it happens to all of us but I just can't stop worrying about it right now.

Attraction aside, we have a strong emotional bond, good sex, and I feel very loved and supported by him. I just worry that if I don't feel attracted now it's going to get worse in future when we both start losing our looks completely.

I'm also highly aware that I'm no spring chicken anymore at 35, so it's not like I feel out of his league or can do better, or anything like that. I just wish I could get over this already.

FFS..no spring chicken at 35? You have a weird outlook on age.

So your OH is only 43...not exactly an old man! If you can't handle the fact he is going to get older, balder and more wrinkly, then it's time to leave him and obviously get a younger model.

Attraction aside, we have a strong emotional bond, good sex, and I feel very loved and supported by him. I just worry that if I don't feel attracted now it's going to get worse in future when we both start losing our looks completely.

If looks are all you are bothered about, then it's not very healthy. Sounds like you have a lovely man. Maybe you should let him go and find someone who loves him for who he is.

@PinkMonkeyBird I was coming to say the exact same thing that age 35 is ‘no spring chicken’ , fucking hell imo 35 is a woman in her physical prime!

@Inappropriatefemale exactly.

Also, as a woman myself of very late 40s, I don't consider myself at the 'no spring chicken' phase just yet. I don't get how people write themselves off at such an early stage in their lives. They don't know they are fucking born!

Exactly @PinkMonkeyBird! I think the ‘no spring chicken’ doesn’t apply until your about 60 I think, even then that’s not so old, maybe the OP is like this because of the way the media makes out that women over 35 are ‘past it’, or some men act as if women age 35 are.

I know how it feels to get a bit neurotic about your age/looks in your 30s or late 30s, a lot of women do. But 35 honestly isn't old and I doubt you've lost your looks much.

Some people don't age well, or look old for their age. Maybe your partner is one of those?

This 55 year old nearly spat her G and T out reading that you think you are no spring chicken at 35!!! Attraction does ebb and flow. My man is 64, an ageing rocker as he calls himself, long hair (as musicians do) not the most attractive man I have been out with but the attraction is all in how he treats me. It’s about him and how he composes music which is an aphrodisiac in itself. Look beyond what you see and be attracted to him as a human being and how he makes you feel.

My OH is balding, has put a least a couple of stone on in the last few years and has no dress sense but I still look at him and think "yes please!" and I am in my 50's. Your partner sounds lovely bald spot and all.