We're not going to be living together til next year but I would like to be well prepared for when the time comes (we're looking at least half a year away). There are lots of things I know that need to be considered and would like Mumsnet's help to make sure I hae everything sorted out.
Our current situation for anyone that doesnt know it too well, is that I live in Watford on my own with dd (22 months), and dp (who isnt the father) lives in Kent. He is doing the 2nd year of his degree, and is going to do the third at a uni nearby which he is applying for now. He currently works part time, and Im a SAHM living on benefits. Dp is willing to move up here as he doesn't want me to be too far away from my family as I need my mum's help with dd a lot. I am currently renting a house (contract runs out around the time he wants to move here) but we think it is best that we find somewhere new together rather than him just moving in with me.
We haven't had a proper chat about this yet, as I do think it is better to talk him in person about this rather than on the phone (don't know why, just seems more appropriate) and wont see him for 2weeks so want to be well prepared knowing what we need to think about. But when we first spoke about it, dp said he thinks it would be best we get a three bedroomed house so there's plenty of room for all our stuff and plus his parents can stay over if they are visiting (which I don't mind).
Im not sure what dp is thinking of, but I do think he's thinking of us buying our own house (not that we can afford it unless his parents are feeling rather generous lol). I think we would be better off renting for probably the first two years just to make sure we don't end up killing each other, and that us living together is a good idea. But as I am on benefits, I know these will be affected.
There are also a lot of other factors that will be affected. I have already told mum yesterday, and although I think she'd be happy with it as long as she gets to know dp a bit better (they do talk but they rarely see each other) and if we are willing to try and overcome all the obstacles together that are ahead of us, she'll be supportive. Things that need to be taken into consideration are:
*benefits
*dp's job - he'll need to get one when he moves here
*dd - how dp living with us is going to affect her, but she does get on well with him
*telling dp's parents
*finding a new suitable place
*being able to afford furniture, deposits etc
*getting myself a well earning part time job (if there can be such a thing)
*dd's father - he got very angry when he found out i was going on holiday with dp and that i was with him, and so I can imagine how bad he is going to be when he finds out about this
So my first question (first of many most likely) is what will be affected? I am on income support, child tax credit, housing and council tax benefit, and child benefit. Will this all be affected (except CB) if we're living together? I am hoping to get myself a part time job (although it seems to be taking forever) as I do want to try and save what I can, and dp is doing the same, but I was just wondering how much benefits would be affected if say he was just working part time or if we were both working part time? (sorry if that sounds really confusing and sorry for it being so long!!)