I regret it and I don’t know how to get out of it

[DorothysGherkin]

I got together with my very long term friend last year but I’m realising that I just don’t have romantic feelings for them.

I don’t know how to tell them without it ruining our friendship. I don’t want to hurt them especially as they have very low self esteem as it is.

I’m the type of person who usually just goes with what makes other people happy and find it difficult to put myself first if it will cause pain to others. This is especially so because this is my very good friend first and foremost.

Anyone else been in this position or can share some words of wisdom please?

Tell them you don't want this and walk away. Don't string them along if its not what you want. This is another person's life we're talking about, you cant just play games with them.

Honesty is the best policy, you could talk to them and explain that you really valued your friendship and because you got on so well you thought you could be in a relationship but having tried it your really sorry but you just don't have the romantic feelings and it would be unfair to continue a relationship.
For you as well, settling for less and you'll always resent it.

Ok having been on the other side of a similar situation I think you need to be cruel to be kind here. Be upfront with her. Tell her you don't want a relationship. Don't leave it open to interpretation, don't give her even the slightest glimmer of hope that you might change your mind.
I have an ex (also female) basically stringing me along at the moment...she told me first that she wanted to end the relationship, then suggested she was open to getting back together, then told me she doesnt feel like she's in a place for a relationship at the moment but might be in the future...its a head wreck. At this stage I'd appreciate her just being blunt if thats how she feels and telling me so I can just move on.
Don't do that to her. Don't leave her in a ppsition where she feels that if she waits for you then you might change your mind. Its not fair to her. I think you may have to cut contact for quite a while to allow her to get over this. I think its honestly the only thing that would help me get over my ex.

End it decisively because she will be distraught.

You have to be 100% clear in words and actions that it is over.

As a kindness I would cut contact completely for a few months. Ultimately that will help her heal faster (you too).

False hope is the worst. Right now she knows you aren't really into her but you keep lying and reassuring her that you are. Stop being a dick. End it fast and clean.