Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

dp and i nearly split up last night feeling really down about it today and worried as he owes me money

7 replies

juicychops · 21/09/2007 13:55

it was all over something so pathetic and not even worth explaining but basically it came down to the same thing as most of our arguments... him thinking im selfish, moany, insensitive bitch who throws everything i do for him back in his face, and me thinking he thinks the world and everything i do should revolve around him and his kids and he is unreasonable in the things he expects me to do at the drop of a hat.

last night he said awful things to me things i would never dream he would say to me and things i would never dream of saying to him. Basically we split up, but eventually he told me he does still love me and can i come round tomorrow(This morning)

anyway, i didn't end up going round this morning as one of his boys is ill and off school and as i haven't met his kids yet i couldn't go and see him. Although other than maybe sorting something out between us i didn't really want to see him.

To be honest i can no longer see a future with this man. Last night he showed his true colours and i think he has just too much baggage and issues and it just wont work in the long run.

But i still love him more than anything (except my ds)

We haven't sorted anything out yet and have only spoken for a few mins on the phone this morning. i wont be seeing him until Sunday night.

It would be the hardest thing i would ever have to do to walk away from him but i feel like its time to now. But another concern is he owes me £415 and i can no way afford to just loose it. He cant afford to pay it back yet and if we split then il loose it. And i cant exactly ask him now what would happen if we split would he still give me the money back cos it will look like im with him just for my money!

Feel so down today and confused about what i want and what is right for me and ds.

someone cheer me up please

OP posts:
fingerwoman · 21/09/2007 14:00

have you thought about having relationship counselling?
it sounds like you both have issues, but if you still love each other then maybe there is a chance that you can salvage it?

juicychops · 21/09/2007 14:10

im not sure what i think of that to be honest. but i wouldn't rule it out. But then we have only been together 1.5 years. i doubt he would be remotely interested in talking to a stranger about our relationship/problems. he is a very private man

OP posts:
chocolatemummy · 21/09/2007 14:21

well, you can't stay with a man just because he owes you £415
If you are worried about his baggage now then try and walk away, I certainly wish I had and perhaps I wouldn't be in the mess I am in now.
I love my dh very very much and we have a wonderful life together on the surface but his ex and son have caused so much trouble, financially, emotionally, practically and his 'baggage' has almost ended our marriage.

If you really do love him, and he really loves you then counselling should be an option because you would want to do anything not to lose eachother?

RosaLuxembourg · 21/09/2007 14:32

You have been with him for a year and a half and you are not allowed to meet his kids? That is ringing big alarm bells with me to start with.
Do you have anything in writing about the money? You can always threaten him with the small claims court if he refuses to pay up.
Hon, I think you know the answer to this one; he is not the man for you. It sounds like he totally disrespects you. Hold out for someone who deserves you.

lulumama · 21/09/2007 14:39

after 18 months you;ve not met his children, he thinks you are selfish and moany and insensitive, he owes you money and said terrible things to you last night.

and you are with him why?

cannot stay with him on the off chance he pays you back

sounds awful

is this the man that didn;t take you to a family wdding or wanted you to go and pretned you weren;lt his girlfriend or something?

lou33 · 21/09/2007 14:40

thats an awful long time to be with someone and not meet his kids juicy

are you sure you want a relationship with a man who keeps you a secret?

juicychops · 22/09/2007 11:41

sorry everyone, had to disappear yesterday afternoon.

lulumama, yes its the same man who wanted me to go to the wedding as a neighbourfor the sake of his kids.

yes 1.5 years is a long time to still not have met his kids. i just have to accept it or walk away. Im finding it extremely hard to do either

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page