I am back again. I am sure many of you remember me from my previous posts regarding my 13 year old & his Mother. Quick recap. This situations has been going on now for around a year. My Son's mum started a relationship with a know drug user. Social services got involved & I began to have him stay at mine more which is also what he wanted. I had reports of drug dealers going to the house regularly, my son was constantly feeling uncomfortable at his mums house. When he did go to his mums there were no food in all that would happen was they would try to emotionally blackmail him into staying at there house more which I can now be certain was more about the maintenance money I was paying. I finally had him live with me full time & I must stress it is also what he wanted. I offered him mum mediation but she declined.
Loads of things have happened since. I have reports of his mum been seen begging, reports that they are regularly selling things to neighbours. An old neighbour of mine messaged me to tell me that his mum had swindled an old lady out of some money. I had a random message last week from a guy who had been volunteering for a food bank & he had delivered some food to my Son's mums house. His Mum's boyfriend had befriended this guy & was constantly asking him for money. He sent me a screen shot of the messages from my son's mum's boyfriend in which he was asking this poor guy to transfer him money. This guy apparently had spent over £300 on food & a small fridge out of his own money on my Ex & her boyfriend. They are both clearly on hard drugs & have been for some time.
My Son has been doing really well & before this Pandemic I had him in to see a counsellor over it all just to make sure he had someone to talk to other than me but it has obviously been put on hold. Apart from that he was doing great at school & at home.
Has I have said in previous posts my Son blocked his mum's number as all she was doing was phoning him up & upsetting him trying to get him to go back & live with her. I had his grandma message me a few weeks back asking me to get my son to phone his mum as she was afraid that his mum may do something stupid. I explained that it is not my sons responsibility & I am not putting that on his shoulders & neither should she.
So tonight I have no idea how but he has received 2 voicemail messages from his mum. Apparently on iPhone you can block a number but it goes to voicemail. The voicemails were quite upsetting to be honest. His mum didn't sound very good at all & sounded what I would call under the influence of a substance. The first voicemail was asking him to phone her cause she loves him. This was around 9:30pm. The next one was at 10pm & was a lot longer. It actually sounded like she was reading it from a script. It basically said that she hasn't phoned him in all this time because I had told her & her mum that he didn't want to speak to her but she has given him some time to think & she wants to speak to him because she misses him & cant hold back any longer. She was crying & mentioned the birthday card which she said she sent him but we never received. All I got from the message was his mum trying to make my son feel bad. She actually said "please think about me like I think about you". Not once did she ask how he was. My son was obviously upset so we sat down & had a good chat. I asked him how he felt & if he would like to speak to her. He said no but he was worried that she might kill herself. This was something she used to say to him when he lived there & she was finding things hard.
What I am faced with now which I didn't want to do was to change his number. She has my landline & mobile so she can phone me if she wants to discuss things instead of phoning him & upsetting him.
Would I be wrong to do this? I don't want him to resent me for this but I think I need to decide what is best for him & in his best interest. I need to put his emotional & mental health first.