Device needed urgently

[missthing3]

Hey so before you start being horrible towards me please read the full story..
So as of late I have been experiencing quite bad mental health, my doctor thinks I possibly have bipolar so my decisions and choices I make can be somewhat disastrous! Also on top of the mix I have come to terms my marriage is not working. I would love nothing more than a future with my husband but there’s so many issues and obstacles to overcome it’s almost impossible.
So one of my bestest friends has split up with her ex of 3 years 8 months ago. She told him she didn’t want to be with him and has cut all contact with him. She is currently sleeping around ALOT. So last night I got really drunk, like drunk to the point I cannot remember the whole night. I was chilling with my friends ex (the guy in question) and he kept trying to kiss me. I rejected him so many times but he kept persisting. I was in an upset state due to my current situation and I ended up giving in to temptation and we slept together. I now feel extremely ashamed, sick and upset. My anxiety has gone through the absolute roof and I just don’t know what to do. The guilt I feel is making me feel like running away. I just don’t know what on earth to do?
I have children too so the last thing I want is Any kind of trouble.

Never mind what about STD's what about Covid. We're in lockdown.

It will all come out in the wash. I’d just tell her.

These things happen, you’re not the first and won’t be the last.

Obviously health (including STD check etc as PP said) is your priority. I wouldn't worry about doing anything about your marriage at the moment unless you think you could be living somewhere that's better for your health (ideally with loved ones or close friends if you have to move right now at all.)

When they start the meds you will probably only want to focus on getting well, for a few weeks or a couple of months. They will chill you right down and all you'll want to do is lie around. So the best environment for you to be in is one where you can best relax (I know things are hard at home but it may be it's the best place for you to be at the moment.)

Will your husband be ok and make you cups of tea, cook etc maybe? That is the sort of thing you need while you are getting your meds sorted and getting well. Just a relaxing time. If you think you could get that better from a loved one or best friend you could consider going there, wherever someone can best take care of you- someone you've known for a lont time and trust (and female really unless it's a close male relative.)

Remember it's the nature of the illness that you will want to go somewhere, else, it makes you restless, but it mightn't be the best thing for the moment unless you're in outright danger or abused at home.

Never mind what about STD's what about Covid. We're in lockdown.

@MadameMarie It's the nature of mania/hypomania that people don't think about stuff like that. Her mates shouldn't be doing it tho.

@NoMoreDickheads

Yeah, I can understand that but in terms of getting tested. Lockdown lifting is based on people social distancing not shagging each other.

It's not customary to ask for a COVID test based solely on having been sexually taken advantage of, if that's what you mean?

You have to have symptoms of COVID or have been in touch with someone who has it in order to get a test, or something like that.

I have noticed by my current symptoms I must be going through the mania stage.. alcohol makes things so much worse. So I think I need to stop drinking and focus on myself. I’m gonna call the go again first thing Monday morning,
I love my husband and I would love to make it work, however there’s lots of issues/obstacles in our relationship that we’ve not been able to get past. They just seem to go round and round. Plus now this has happened I would be too worried about him finding out. If he did find out he would go absolutely bonkers!

If he did find out he would go absolutely bonkers!

In what way?

I almost don't want to get into the whole marriage thing as you just will need someone to look after you physically right now and make sure you're comfortable, eat sleep etc. Can your husband do that?

(I'm not saying that means you should stay with him forever, but that's all you need someone to do right now and all you'll need to focus on is taking your meds and chilling out.) In an ideal world he also needs to make sure you don't go out and get involved in random shit.

Once you're better you'll be able to take any steps you need to take in life so much more easily- at the moment your head will be all over the place. You may be irritable and agitated too, which makes getting on with people more difficult. The meds will help with that.

If you don't feel that you want him to be the one to look after you while you get well, you could ask a family member or friend (this is fine when it comes to COVID as they will be caring for a vulnerable person.)

Your tendency will be to want to move somewhere new maybe, at least into your own place. I wouldn't do that right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about not doing anything for ever, just for a couple of months or something.