Does having a break work?

[Gettalking201]

During lockdown, me and dh have been rowing non stop. I’m furloughed, he’s still working but spending more time at home. He’s in a high pressure job so normally gets stressed but me being at home all the time just isn’t working. I asked him to give me some space so he’s moved out. We haven’t seen each other now for 3 weeks. Not sure how to reconnect with him.

Do you want to reconnect with him though?
Sounds like you might both have a better life apart. I mean ok it might just be lockdown stress but,I couldn't live my life in a relationship that made my life harder, not easier.

Why go back to something that wasnt working?

Do you have DC together?
What were your arguing about all the time?
Is it usually a good, kind and loving relationship?

Have you even heard from him in 3 weeks?

When it gets to this point, I think most couples need external help to reconnect. Would you considet couple counselling OP?

cant see how that would work. what happens when you both retire ? you're supposed to enjoy each others company!

How are you feeling now? Happier or miss him?

It really shouldn't be this much hard work.

after 3 weeks apart the 'reconnecting' should happen mutually & effortlessly.... sounds like you are flogging a dead horse here op.

Do you feel less stressed now, or still annoyed with him?
Could you ask him out on a "date"?

Do you know where is is living? It there possibly a OW?

I think it's just a lazy cowards way out for him. probably has no intention of coming back.

Mt ex did the same, ran away one day, literally - pathetic. I wouldn't even have given him a hard time because I wanted him to go and it was hell trying to sort all the mess out on my own.

My god some of these responses are a bit nuts. An ow, first response says sounds like you would have a better life apart. Does it? Not really.

Why don’t you talk to him. Lots of couple have rowed during lockdown.

We don’t have DC. We have been in contact, he’s staying at a friends house. He has been asking to meet but I told him I still needed some space. I feel more calm but also missing him. I’m also missing my normal life being at work.

Why are you still refusing to see him, yet saying you don't know how to reconnect?

How can you reconnect if you won't let him come home? If anything, this is only going to make the problem far worse by keeping him from his own home and refusing to discuss your issues.

Why are you still refusing to see him, yet saying you don't know how to reconnect?

This. I don't get it.

Do you think it's pointless him coming home as he will still have to be working with you in the background, and it's still not going to work?
Or do you mean that the rowing was so serious that you're afraid to get back together?

@ravenmum That’s what I’m worried about, getting back together because of how much we argued. For the first time I’m having doubts about the marriage. Should I meet him to discuss this? We’ve only been texting.

But he doesn't have to come home for you to see him - meet up and talk. Too much is lost in translation, open to misunderstanding in text messaging.

Obviously if you're afraid of him, it's different.

Quite; if he was really nasty, maybe it's better to stay apart, even if you're feeling lonely. Watch out for your namechange and maybe describe what kind of bad rows you mean.

Otherwise, if you think it was maybe just a stress-fuelled blip and you were both to blame, maybe a "date" or two on a nice walk in the sunshine.