Today I'm not coping

[2ndtimemum2]

Hi all

I'm 29 weeks pregnant my ex and I had a fight at 9weeks pregnant and I subsequently found out he was texting his ex girlfriend.

Weve not seen each other since then and the only communication is him sending abusive and I mean extremely abusive messages. I realise now that the relationship was extremely unhealthy and not good for me so why am I struggling so much.

When he left he told me the child could find him when they're older. He came back a month ago but I realised hes emotionally abusing me. He actually told me some of the lies he told about me to other people as if it wasnt a big deal and he did nothing wrong.

I just feel like I want to crawl into a black hole and never come out. In the last 5 months I've had to keep working buy a house and try live true this pandemic and prepare for this baby and I think I've just reached breaking point.

The thoughts of having him and his wicked mother around me after the babys born is causing me so much stress. Apologies if my post is all over the place I just cant seem to get a clear line of thought

Omg sending huge hugs to you hun!!

I had a similar experience during pregnancy receiving abusive messages from my child’s father and it is awful. So stressful and he’s an absolute cunt for putting you through stress like that when you’re pregnant! What the hell is wrong with him!!!

You are doing amazing! And I’m not just saying that, your bossing this pregnancy, bought a house, working, and nearly through this pandemic. What an incredible woman you are and I can tel from your post you will be the best mother to your precious little baby, congratulations by the way!

If he isn’t wanting anything to do with the baby then let him walk away. My ex did ste up eventually but we’ve recently split up but it was more or less like being a single parent but I’d say harder because I had somebody there who could help but just chose not to help. He’s done 1 night feed and my baby is 6 months. And that was only the other week (he stayed over so that when my child goes to his dads he will be use to someone else feeding him)

Keep going, your a strong woman and you can do this!

OP
You are doing really well in that you and him are OVER
Trust me , you have made the first hard step

It’s completely natural that the combination of
Covid
Abuse
Pregnancy
General anxiety is going to hurt and impact you

So keep breathing , I used the anxiety UK hotline and spoke to a lovely woman

So one step at a time

It’s natural you are going to have bad days and dips
You have done so well to get away and keep working
He has shown his true colours

Just breathe , anxiety is the body’s response to fear

Are you working today and are you alone ?

the relationship was extremely unhealthy and not good for me so why am I struggling so much?

You had no way of knowing that he would be like this. You thought you were committed to a different relationship where he didn't text his ex and where he treated you with respect. That was your reality and even though you know it was fake, you miss what could have been.

The path you are on now is harder than the fake path that you thought you had but at least it's based on reality. You put your child first when you walk away from a cheat and an abuser, that's a brave thing to do and you will find that strength again.

Chin up. Keep going. 💐💐💐💐💐

Thank you all so much...I know I have good days and bad days...I had a feeling that something was wrong the week before and I had said that maybe the time was off and an abortion would be the best option and he begged and pleaded with me to keep the baby and i relented...2 months later he calls me a dirty attention seeking g whore who trapped him...i feel like such a fool

Well you’re not a fool.

He’s the fool for acting like he has done.

Are you feeling any better? Do you have support in RL?