Deleting messages

[herewegoagain1960s]

Can't believe I'm posting this. My H deleted messages that popped up on his phone when I asked who they were from. We're an older couple and been married just a couple of years. He has form. He'll never change, will he? No fool like an old fool is there? Instead of trying to re-assure me, he threw his wedding ring at me. I know I'll be fine practically as I'm financially independent but when I think what I settled for? Never too late to make a change and a fresh start. And I think it's time to make that fresh start.

That's a childish, petulant responce when he was asked to explain himself. Is he usually petulant when things don't go his way

He has form. He'll never change, will he?

No, he will never change. Did you think he would?

Sorry to hear this. Been where you are. No they don't change, they might stop for a bit, but they don't change.

It's NEVER too late to make a fresh start - best thing I ever did. Good luck

What an absolute child! He won't expect you to call his bluff and show him the door. So sorry for what you are going through but how delicious to see his face when he realises you've had enough. Power to you OP

It's me that will move out. I'm done with relationships:-(

I don't think your relationship will recover from this- you will (rightly) never trust him again.

Get the wheels in motion for a separation. Why would you move out, btw? What's your housing situation? Any children?

Have you still got his ring? Sell it and use the money to get you settled in a nice new place of your own. You’re absolutely right about him, don’t waste any more of your life on him, you will get through it and be happier without his narky bollocks.

Did you know he was a cheat before you married him?

Why will you be the one to move out? What even attracted you to him in the first place? Like above did you know and if so what did you know about the relationship issues he had?

Oh op you sound so fed up

Do yourself a favour and set the bar higher, stop settling for his childish behaviour, you'll be so much happier for it.

It was a boundary issue that cropped up not an infidelity situation but caused me upset that he didn't put a stop to it sooner.

We don't have children together and I have a wholly owned property which I rent out. I moved into his as he lives in his business premises, hence I'd be the one to go. I'm in a very fortunate financial position so I have no concerns.

This morning, he's telling me he has no idea why an alert with a woman's name cropped up on his phone and he deleted nothing.

Gaslighting 101. His goose is well and truly cooked. I love that you value yourself too much to put up with his nonsense. If you are not feeling loved but unsure and insecure with his behaviour; you know you are doing the right thing for you and he can go and play his silly games with the next poor woman.

You sound like you are in shock OP. Take time to process this. At least you feel financially secure but your emotions are important too.

He sounds like a wanker OP. So sorry you've experienced this.

Think you'd be happier on your own. Glad you're in a position where you have somewhere to go. xxx

You sound really sure about separating OP so:
Secure your finances so he has no access (password, memorable code, pin# etc)
Get any important documents, eg financial papers, pension, personal insurance and birth certificates, etc out of the house quickly and discretely.
Do you know his financial status - if he's an angry person he may come after YOUR finances unless you've applied, eg Deed of Trust on your property, etc acquired before your marriage
See a lawyer.

Wow, so he thinks you're stupid too? Op, he's a thick gaslighting piece of shit. You deserve far, far better. Get a dog. They're loyal, loving, and will never cheat on you 😁

OP I'm glad you're not buying this bullshit...