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Original poster

Change of heart

7 replies

Crispsnatcher · 27/05/2020 23:36

Hi all,

Please go easy on me.

I need to end a 'relationship' with a guy I've loosely been seeing.

Long story short, he is an old friend of mine. He lives miles away. We met up a few times last year and the beginning of this year (january time). We both thought there was something in it and we agreed to date - basically seeing each other as and when we could.

At first we talked a lot, every day, either in messages or over the phone. It has definitely dwindled and I have to say it is on my part. I can't see us going anywhere long term and I don't want to waste his time. He says he has fallen for me. I have children and they are my priority. I would like to remain friends but I don't know how to break this off gently. I dont know if I genuinely find him needy, or I've just got used to being single. My last relationship was horrendous. I found my old friend to be a breath of fresh air in comparison.

I really don't want to hurt him, but he is clearly more invested in his feeling towards me. I'm looking for advice, I just can't see a future other than friendship.

OP posts:
Original poster
Crispsnatcher · 27/05/2020 23:53

Bump

OP posts:
Crystalspider · 28/05/2020 00:07

My advice would be to call him and end it, it's best for both of you.
I expect he's already feeling like your pulling away if it's dwindled, he will respect you more for being honest.

Original poster
Crispsnatcher · 28/05/2020 00:09

True, it's just finding the words ok struggling with. He hasn't done anything wrong so I dont want to put him down or hurt him. In lockdown I've had very little time for him. It's made me realise I don't want nor need a relationship of any sort.

OP posts:
Crystalspider · 28/05/2020 00:22

You could tell him just that you've been thinking during lockdown and your not wanting a relationship right now and with the miles between you, you can't see it being something you can realistically keep up with longterm.

Original poster
Crispsnatcher · 28/05/2020 00:28

I will try that, thanks Crystal. He must feel I've not been as chatty lately. He still messages me a lot even if I don't always respond. I generally do respond, but I've got kids to sort out so he can send me a dozen messages in that time and I don't reply straight away. When it do, I'm a lot more generic in my responses. I definitely need to end this, I've been thinking it for a while.

OP posts:
Crystalspider · 28/05/2020 00:31

It will be ok, it's not a nice thing to do but it's kinder in the long run than to give him false hopes.

Original poster
Crispsnatcher · 28/05/2020 00:46

Thank you, you are absolutely right. You've been a great help.

OP posts:
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