He was seeing someone all along. How do I get over this?

[namechangedforthis123456]

After seeing someone I work with for two months I have found out that he had a girlfriend all along. We hadn't seen each other outside of work as things develop when the lockdown started but we have spoke all day every day for the past 9/10 weeks. How am I going to fill that time..?

I should have known. He was always mentioning a 'friend' and would change the subject or be dismissive when I probed. I knew something was up but I just didn't want to admit it to myself.

He wouldn't add me on any social media as he said he didn't use it.. but I have found out he blocked me on Instagram before I could even add him! Instinct today told me to dig deeper so I found his Instagram, made a new account and found out about his girlfriend.. who he implied was a 'friend'.

I have told him exactly what I think.

Has anyone else been through similar? Completely gutted. Thought I was falling for him.

I have to face him at work! The arsehole. 😔

Sorry that was full of typos. Typing through tears..

Oh hugs OP.
That sucks. Have a cry and then...Onwards.. he doesn't deserve a sceond more of your time and energy. Be am ice queen with him at work.

I always throw myself back into chatting on the dating apps if I get dumped/something like this happens. I find it a good distraction. Might help take your mind off him.

So sorry you're sad. He's a dick.
Well done for telling him what for.

What a cunt!

Have you told his GF, will you?

Nearly three months of chatting to you is out of order

I don't know whether to tell her or not.

Part of me thinks she deserves to know what a twat he is..

I'm so sorry to hear this. I had a similar incident with an old work colleague years ago. It was only a few weeks but I found out he had a girlfriend and a disabled baby when I was asked by one of his team mates to contribute towards the gift and card for their new arrival. To make matters worse when I confronted him he said he still wanted to have fun. Needless to say I didn't agree and told him to get stuffed but it never feels good to be lied to.

Spend time with people who deserve it. Talk to your friends and family and if you want to open the door to dating you could always try online dating. My single friend said it's nice to talk to people who are outside of friends and family from time to time but I appreciate that this might not work for everyone.

I'd only tell her if you've got conclusive evidence he was seeking a relationship or something sexual with you. If not he'll just tell her your some crazy colleague who's obsessed with him. And she'll more than likely believe him over you. If you've got messages that will land the prick in it, do it.

To be honest, the most worrying thing in your post was 'How am I going to fill that time..?'

Do you feel like you need him, already, after such a short fling? What did you do with your time before?

He's horrible, and doesn't deserve another second of your thoughts. Don't start getting involved with telling his girlfriend, you'll just prolong your own anguish. Write him a letter telling him exactly how pissed off you are with him, then burn it. It'll help you process your feelings. Then get back to doing whatever it was you filled your time with before you started seeing him.

Yeh I'd send her a quick message. Chances are he will lie his way out if it but a quick fyi would be the right thing to do.

Always, always do some digging when they say they dont have social media. I found someone I was dating once who said that. I searched for his sister and low and behold he was tagged in some if her pictures. His surname changed to swartezernager (sp? You know, as in arnold) Arrogant twat obviously thought that would be enough to keep him hidden.

Are you going to have to work with him in future?
That sucks.

I've just deleted a lot of our conversations.. but kept intimate pics he sent over the weekend, along with the chat we had at that time. So I have concrete evidence but I just can't be bothered getting involved.. he is very manipulative and would likely twist it or make it look like my fault somehow.

I have to work with him for the foreseeable.. I am seriously considering asking to work from home.

I suppose if you work with him its maybe best to leave it at that.

Hope the slimet creep wont make problems for you there after this?

I really hope he doesn't make problems for me at work.. Can't even think about it now. I know he is off next week (thankfully) - obviously now I know how he'll be spending it!

I can't help but feel like there is something wrong with me.

Op, have you never actually been on a date with this man. ?

Dont beat yourself up. Anyone can be conned by a manipulator!

Wouldn't harm to make a list if things that maybe could have tipped you off sooner though. Practice for next time, should there be one.

Also, if theres even a hint he may start anything at work, don't be slow to tell hr or whoever, exactly what's going on. Get them on your side before he can tell them some bullshit.

I’m so sorry, this happened to my brother. Dated a woman really seriously for 9 months, talked about buying a house together. SHE WAS ENGAGED THE WHOLE TIME 😱
He was utterly devastated.

In terms of work I’d get ahead of the slimy shit and speak to HR.

Personally I wouldn’t cause trouble for him at home. Just tell him not to talk to you at all at work. You are not friends. Go cold as ice abs freeze him dead.