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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship after divorce

5 replies

emjmca · 27/05/2020 10:34

Morning, just looking for an ear or a shoulder. I separated from my husband last year after battling to keep over marriage going for a really long time. I've been chatting with someone who's is acquaintance of my ex and they socialise together a few times a year. Things were going great and we have this weird connection and just click. We met up and things were going great but then he just got a major case of guilt and said he couldn't do it as he felt so guilty. We're both pretty broken by this and feel that we've missed out on something potentially great. I'm totally heartbroken by this and l've been crying since this happened l feel like a total bampot!

OP posts:
karma1979 · 27/05/2020 11:11

Didn't want to read and run. Sounds hard for sure. I also separated last year and the thought of a new relationship is a bit scary so finding a connection with someone who isn't a "stranger" must have felt safe. I guess it depends on how friendly he is and wants to stay with your ex if you think ex would have a problem with it? Nothing to be guilty about though...

emjmca · 27/05/2020 11:58

Yeah its terrifying and he knew that l felt that, it was meant to just be a fling with no feelings and now its not anything. He's worried about how much upset it would cause - this current situation would have been ideal cause no reason to go outside - it wouldn't have been public for a very long time, l've got children. I'm now angry with him for not giving it a go.

OP posts:
Songsofexperience · 27/05/2020 18:01

Well, he's too weak for you I'm afraid. If he sincerely wants you, he will regret it for sure down the line. The thing is though - He is putting up a barrier that doesn't need to be there and that shows he lacks strength of character. Don't dwell on how it could have been. His decision makes it a non starter because he's shown you he's not the right person...

Thisisworsethananticpated · 27/05/2020 18:36

Well If he doesn’t want a relationship With you , you have to respect that
People can sometimes use fake reasons too

On the positive side you met someone nice and it shows they exist out there

But don’t fret on this one , and move onwards and upwards

karma1979 · 27/05/2020 23:00

I agree with others. It's a non starter. Chalk it up to a bit of experience back in the field and don't linger on it. He's obv got his reasons whether they are what he expressed to you or not. x

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