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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I overthinking on this.

13 replies

HX20 · 27/05/2020 10:22

Hi
My partner of 3 years recently mentioned that they had already met their soul partner (the ex) Usually I'm not bothered by mentions of ex partners , but this one has stuck in my head and is becoming a bit of a mind worm.
Am I overthinking on this?

OP posts:
pickleface · 27/05/2020 10:30

That would upset me to be honest. I'd feel like he'd written off any kind of real closeness before we'd began.

thepeopleversuswork · 27/05/2020 10:35

No you're not overthinking: that's bloody rude and negative.

I don't believe in "soul partners" -- think its a load of woo. There are people you love enough to commit to and people you don't but no-one is perfect for your soul. But why on earth would he say that to you other than to put you down, make you feel insecure, or at best because he has absolutely no emotional intelligence whatsoever.

What else do you get from him? Is it worth it?

ComtesseDeSpair · 27/05/2020 10:37

He was a dick to say that. Basically “I will never love you as much as I loved my ex”, who the fuck with half a brain would think that an acceptable sentiment to express to their partner??

I’d be reconsidering the relationship to be honest.

backseatcookers · 27/05/2020 10:39

What a horrible thing to say to someone. He doesn't sound like a genuinely nice kind person because anyone would realise how hurtful it is.

And it isn't necessary information - there is absolutely no reason for him to ever tell you that, other than if it was a reason he was breaking up with you I guess.

If he can say something so cruel after three years i would be reassessing the relationship.

Dery · 27/05/2020 10:43

Seems like a very unhelpful thing to say. What was the context? What does he mean by soulmate? (Btw, like PP - I don’t believe in romantic soulmates - I think there are many potential right partners for everyone). In my experience, men can be crap with words sometimes. Actions are more important. How does he treat you generally? Are you contented together? Does he make you feel loved and valued?

frozendaisy · 27/05/2020 10:44

But perhaps the ex hadn't met hers for reasons you are now discovering.

BertiesLanding · 27/05/2020 10:45

That's a side-swipe if ever I heard one.

bigchris · 27/05/2020 10:49

Wow what a mean thing to say ! I'd tell him to fuck off back to her but i guess she dumped him

PinkMonkeyBird · 27/05/2020 11:02

Yes, I'd tell him to go to her and dump his arse.

allfacepalmedout · 27/05/2020 11:05

Can't have been all that much of a soul partner considering she's now the ex.

TheStuffedPenguin · 27/05/2020 11:15

I would end it with him . He should think you are the best . Soul mates is a load of bollocks in my mind but to him seems not !

MMmomDD · 27/05/2020 11:26

So - why didn’t you just ask him(or her?) why are you with me then?

BlueJava · 27/05/2020 11:36

I would end it - "soul mates" is a bit rubbish in my view because life changes us a d who knows what will happen. But essentially he has just said he had more with his ex than you, he's also saying he is with you because she doesn't want t him (at least that is how I would see it).

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