Just all feels a mess..
I finally moved out of the family home in March with my two youngest daughters 13 and 5. My youngest has autism and is developmentally delayed.
I had been with my husband for 26 years. We had a great marriage for many many years until he guilted next into a termination 7 yrs ago.
I had 5 miscarriages after and then went on to have my super 5 yr old.
I had counselling and have been on antidepressants ever since.
The trust was broken. My husband was a lovely man but he could never quite support me.
Discipline of the children was totally up to me, he would walk away.
Any disputes with freinds family etc.. I’d be on my own. I just felt as though he never had my back. I was always leading...he called it controlling and bullying.
We had businesses together and life was good all the time we were working together but having children did change us. We rowed a lot and i felt unloved and basically a pain in his ass.
In March last year..after one of our many rows I decided not to try and repair it as I always did.
As a result we didn’t talk for a year.
I made the decision to rent a small place locally and my younger two came with me.
My 16yr old stayed with him. Took his side as he does give her a very free and easy life. Our relationship has been damaged.
So now my husband spends all day in our beautiful big home, working out, doing as he pleases whilst we live in a smaller place.
He made no attempt to stop me from leaving with the girls. I tried to arrange counselling, talking but to no avail.
I’ve now been here for 3 months and there’s been no attempt to try and repair our marriage.
He’s made it very clear he thinks I’m going to ‘screw him over’ and that he will never leave our family home.
I just feel incredibly sorry for him. To be willing to lose me and his daughters for the sake of his home.
In the meantime I have started talking to a man.
We laugh, he is a strong man and we have so much in common. He is interesting and supportive and just very different to my ex.
I just feel that I should take my girls and go home. We are happy here but I do feel guilty for leaving and that I should be grateful for our home we had and just accept that that’s my married life and my role as a mother.
I have been talking to my solicitor who says that my husband is not co operating with requests for financial details.
I just wondered if anyone had been through similar?