Help needed 10 weeks pregnant and unsure

[Snezthesquid]

Hi

I'm almost 11 weeks pregnant and since I found the result I've had a sense of fear and anxiety I've been in a right mess and have felt suicidal at times.
I'm not sure I want to be a mum I've tried to book a termination but cancelled at last minute as got too upset.

My husband is supportive whatever I decide I'm 39 and I know I don't have long left in child bearing years, I've never been sure on this subject and I'm scared if I keep the baby I will be unhappy or not bond with it.

I spoke to my GP after the termination was booked and he put me on antidepressants if anything it is getting worse having trouble sleeping and can eat but not as much as usual.

I'm desperate and have no idea what to do

Did you live with mental health issues before you became pregnant? Pregnancy can both bring on and exacerbate existing mental health issues; have you seen a midwife yet? Ideally you want to speak with someone with experience in perinatal mental health. It sounds really tough, and I am sorry to hear you are struggling. I can't tell you what to do about your pregnancy--only you can make that decision, but the right decision for you is the right decision.

No one can advise re your pregnancy. It what I can say is it completely normal to feel
Completely overwhelmed and anxious fir even the most wanted pregnancy. Suddenly you are thrust into a world of responsibility, what ifs, a sense of unknown that can be all consuming. If you have any underlying MH issues thus can be exacerbated and heightened. Are you usually an anxious person? These are also uncertain times which can add into the whole ‘what have I done’? Questioning

Was it planned? Do you have support?
This may be your last chance so take time to talk about it with trained counsellors if you can who should be able to help you unravel your feelings in an unbiased way

Pregnancy choices forum on here was brilliant when i was unsure