Is my Dad cheating on my mum?

[bananachocolatepancake]

Feeling absolutely sick and confused. I'm back home with my parents for lockdown.

I've noticed my dads been on his phone quite a lot and have caught him being a bit secretive about it. Vaguely worried me but my mum mentioned he'd been on his phone too much and she'd told him he had to tone it down so I thought it was that and put it out of my mind.

I've just come down and seen him on his phone, texting a contact with a woman's name and 3 hearts after it. He locked his phone quickly and put it away as I came over. I don't recognise the name, it's no one I know. I said "what you doing on your phone?" And he told me he was on social media. I couldn't bring myself to go "who's X?"

I feel sick, I don't know what on earth to do. Am I jumping to conclusions? Should I tell my mum? Should I leave it alone??

how are you OP

I found out that my dad was having an affair when I was about 15. I was shocked and decided to write a letter about it to both my parents. I wrote the letter but then I hesitated. And I tore it up. I never mentioned it to anyone and have still never done so more than 40 years later when my parents are both long dead. Why? For one thing I had no proof, I had heard them talking in the phone but this could have been explained away. But the other reason I hesitated was that I realised that my mother probably knew about it and had her own reasons for turning a blind eye. Had I confronted them she would have been placed in an extremely awkward position and our family would have broken up, something no child wants to see happen.

So my advice is to leave well alone, never interfere in another couple's relationship however angry you feel. You cannot know everything about them and you cannot control the consequences if you make allegations that cannot be proved.