Am I being oversensitive??

[marxkate]

Hi all

Sorry if this is not the right place to post. We've been married for 9 years, together for 12 almost. He is making a lot of comments about my weight. I don't feel necessarily 'fat' but was 8 stone when u met him and severely underweight but now am just under 12 stone, so I've put a fair bit on (twins and a little boy since then though!).
He makes lots of comments about my weight (and his to be fair - we weigh toughy the same but it all goes to my gut :() doesn't find me attractive anymore. We barely make love.
We are moving into our new build in just over 4 weeks and I don't know what to do!! Would I lose the house if I left him?! I know that sounds awful and selfish but he has a great job as I'm studying for a degree so I wouldn't get a mortgage on my own :(

Have you already exchanged on your new build?

Well he sounds like a right dick, putting you down about your weight gain. If you are happy with the way you look and feel, then frankly he can get fucked. You've had three kids, of course your body will change!

In regards to the house, there are so many factors that influence what happens to assets in the event of a break up. Given that you are a student and not able to raise a mortgage alone, if seems unlikely you would be able to keep the house as you cannot afford on your own.

Do you want to work on the relationship?

How much money have you put towards the house? How could you afford the mortgage alone if you don't work?

That aside, you should leave him, why would anyone stay with a man who doesn't fancy then anymore? You can find somewhere else to live.

I have a part time job, and plus child tax credits and family allowance, that would be approx 1700 per month, so I could afford tge mortgage and bills. I'm just torn. The only money we've put in was a deposit of 10K which was from my dad x

Hmmm even though on paper you can afford repayments plus living costs, lenders would be reluctant to allow you to take on a mortgage on your own. Tax credits and maintenance usually are not included in affordability assessment. Perhaps it would be better to sell and then look into shared ownership schemes?

When you bought the house, was the £10k ring fenced by a declaration of trust? Meaning you get it back before equity is split?