Can you tell me your contact arrangements?

[sadwithkiddies]

Hi all,
For nearly 2 years now I have trying to sort out contact arrangements with ex.

For those of you who have a 3 day (him) 4 day (you) arrangement can you tell me how you work it so you are not giving him every weekend?

I'd prefer to both have a weekend - but then what do you do the following week? I think seeing a range of what people do may help me think outside the box!

Many thanks!!!!!

Maybe it would be better to do every other weekend with your ex and then 2-3 days in the week the following week that way you both get a weekend each?

Ours was he had them:
Week 1: Tues, Fri, Sat
Week 2: Tues, Wed, Fri
I think it helped that Tuesday and Friday were my nights out of the house anyway so it helped keep the kids routine a bit.

You could do something like Sunday-Wednesday you, Thursday-Saturday him. If you want full weekends I think youd have to change the pattern. Ie week 1 you have Monday-Thursday he has Friday - Sunday. Week 2 you have Monday-Tuesday, he has Wednesday-Friday, you have Saturday and Sunday.

How old are the children?

To have a weekend each you need a two week alternating 3 days/4 days arrangement.

The children are school aged. I should have said over a 2 week cycle.

Week 1 - him tues, thurs, fri
Week 2 - him tues, thurs, sat.
We've been separated for 4 years now.
Each having one day off at a weekend has worked really well because we tend not to miss out on social events, but if we need to swap we do. If we need to go away for the weekend alone, then the other has our DD (10 yrs) all weekend but then it's ok for me to take her away for the whole weekend, he doesn't tend to do this. We live 1/2 a mile away and we're amicable which really helps.

Dp and his ex are flexible but if no other plans have one weekend day each (e.g. theu come to us on Friday night and leave Saturday night/Sunday morning or arrive on Saturday night and leave on Sunday night or Monday morning depending on what the children want). Otherwise, if she wants a whole weekend they come here or if we are are doing something they will stay there and make up for it in the week or the following weekend.

Wk1 Tue and Thu nights
Wk2 Tue Fri-Sun

We have the same pattern every week. Him Sunday to weds, me weds lunchtime until Saturday evening. It means he gets 4 nights but it can't be the other way round for various reasons, and sometimes one of the dc stays Saturday night extra with me depending on who needs what at that time. But we're very amicable and exh has always been a fully involved coparent in their lives. Dc are under 9 so this is open to change as they get older. We did do eow but it was too big a stretch without me on the long week.

Thank you for your replies. We do EOW but looking to do more. I want to keep the weekend and trying to see how I can add more.
Its so hard as so far he has the children separated by sex...b/g EOW...I want them to go together ...and add a weeknight. He has no school holidays but I need to see how that works too.

I cannot continue sending my kids on a rota...they - and I need it to be together. I just dont understand how a father can be allowed to have his kids separately and have 5 night a week 'to himself'...I am exhausted with this process 😢