Comparing my relationship to others

[Blue5]

Lately, I can’t stop comparing my relationship to others like Friends, family, social media, celebs.
We are going through a tough time, talking about breaking up and since then, I keep comparing to others, thinking how happy they are.

Does anyone else do this?

Delete social media and stop worrying about everyone else.

If you're going through a tough time that won't help you one bit.

you're deluded if you think social media is a true representation of the sate of anyone's relationship. Off the top of my head i can think of 2 women i know whonhave perfect life type facebook and instagram feeds. Full of love my hubby hes the best and #makingmoments and all the rest. One has just come out of rehab and been dumped by the husband, who is concealing money and a new woman and the other is having relationship counselling as the husband was caught using escorts last year. Both women are very unhappy. Oh also another woman who makes out like everything is perfect, pictures of hone baking and #lovemychildren but in reality is a deeply unhappy sahp who wishes she had never given up work, cant cope with her toddler, constantly gets drunk and goes on about it.

I wouldn't let comparisons be a factor, you have to make your own relationship decisions that are right for you.

I have the most amazing relationship with my husband. I am so, so grateful to have such a decent man in my life.

I have never posted on Facebook about him (I don’t have Instagram or Twitter etc).
I’ve never posted a photo of us together. Never posted about anything he’s ever bought me. Never put one of those cringe love quote memes up. Nothing.

My friends who I don’t see in person, must wonder if we are still together. Not that they actually care that much.

In my experience, those who over-share are usually trying to persuade everyone else that everything is perfect, even when it’s not.

totally agree with pp. The people i know who don't mention any relationship issues are virtually invisible on sm.

Oh for gods sakes delete the social media! One of my friends would post kardashian worthy beautiful photos up on Facebook with love love love husband and they looked like life was an idyllic dream. Exotic locations. Anniversary holidays that look like they live like Hollywood A listers. He was bonking her best mate for years. I guarantee you, very few marriages are as perfect the social media makes out

Do not compare yourself to other people's fantasy relationships on social media. Most of it is utter bollocks - it's fantasy. It's portraying their relationship as they think it should be. Hearts and flowers and all that shite.
They are probably arguing about putting the bins out and all the rest of it. You just do not know what is going on behind closed doors.
I read once that the sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on facebook or twitter.

I've got a friend on facebook at the moment who has a new girlfriend (think it's been about 6 months or so). She posts all these gushing posts about him with hashtags like #mysweetlove #togetherforever.
No mention of how he walked out on his wife of 10 years while she was out with friends, dumped her by text and a short while later this new girlfriend pops up on his facebook. No mention of his chequered history with the ladies - he's basically an arsehole.
Yeah, it's all hunky dory now - but what will she be saying in a couple of years?

Ignore all this shit. If there are some "worst offenders" on facebook just unfollow them so you don't have to see it. Concentrate on your own relationship. If your own relationship is not working for you, it isn't working and no amount of comparison is going to fix it.

I often find the ones that go on like the perfect couple are doing it to convince themselves that everything is lovely when really it's not

What are the problems in your relationship? I think it's pretty normal to feel what you're missing when you see it acted out, even if it's idealised. I remember crying buckets throughout Arthur Christmas at the cinema because my now-ex had broken the relationship, because it threw it all into sharp relief.

I would take social media posts with a pinch of salt. I only post positive/happy messages and photographs, say once a month. I write gushing posts to my dh on his birthdays and our anniversaries. We will never truly know the challenges and pain people face in their relationships and marriages. Some try to mask this with telling the world they are loved up.

needhandhold is it likely that your friend posted photographs when she was completely unaware her husband was sleeping with her friend? So in her mind, she was living a perfect life.