How do I leave someone who still wants to be with me?

[Wilsonskye14]

I have it in my head that I don’t want to be this person. I know I’m not happy anymore, I want to be single, etc. The problem is, we’ve been engaged for 6 months and he still wants to be with me.
I know this because of the way he talks to me and he talks about our future all the time.
There’s a number of reasons I want to leave the relationship, but I’m just not happy anymore overall.
I have extreme anxiety, we live together, and we’re engaged. I don’t know how I’m supposed to leave him. I know everyone reacts differently, but I’m kind of panicking about not knowing how to go about it.
It’s killing me that I’m still stringing him along and believe me, I don’t want to, but I don’t know what to do.
I’ve even been having nightmares about tornadoes and looked it up, and the first thing that came up was that it means I’m emotionally confused or in a bad relationship. That can’t be a coincidence and is a big indicator how bad it is for me right now.
I’ve had literal butterflies in my stomach for weeks because I’m so nervous to. I feel like such a terrible human being.

I was in a similar situation op, my ex wouldn't let me end it, he threatened to run away with our son or kill himself if I ended it. In the end my counsellor said, you can end it, you're not stuck. I finally got him out 3 months ago, what a huge relief. You won't feel peace until you end it.

Im glad you're getting angry, and i'm horrified by your mum's attitude. Where he goes and how he will live are NOT YOUR PROBLEM!

Chuck him out and move on, my lovely. You can and will do better than him.

In your situation OP I would be very tempted to move out even though it is your family home. It will change the dynamic, encourage him to move on and mean that your mum isn't in the middle of it all. Can you go to a friends for a week or two?

Whether he lives in a bus shelter is not your problem.

Be firm with your mum and bf.

If you were to say, get a job or move out and we are over. Would he get a job.

OP you absolutely cannot marry someone “because mum feels sorry for him”! What kind of shit basis would that be for a marriage?!
You really don’t need any “reason” or “excuse” - just the simple fact that you don’t want to do it.
It is much kinder to tell him clearly and immediately, than to string him along. And you need to decide about where you want to live in future - perhaps being with your mother is not great at your age, and you need your own place.
It would help to reduce her influence in your life, which can only be a good thing, given her terrible advice and lack of concern for your best interests.

OP you need a bit of courage. I've been where you are and I was so scared to leave that I stayed around 2 - 3 years longer than I should have. Did it do anyone any good? No.

Think of it this way, the earlier you leave, the quicker he can accept it and move on. Yes, he will be upset now (and beg you to stay... say he can change etc) but if you have any kind of love and respect for him (which it sounds like you do) you need to give him a chance to get over you and rebuild his life. You're still young so nothing to worry about on your side. The only thing you're doing by prolonging this is tormenting the both of you, and potentially making it harder to do what it right by getting deeper involved (marriage, potentially a house, kids).

There will never be a right time. There will always be a convenient excuse. You just need to make the leap and be brave.

Sorry that the poor dog died but in hard-nosed terms it is a blessing in disguise. You have no ties to him. Is there anywhere else you could live?

Thank you to everyone who’s helped. I finally mustered up the courage to break it off today. It was insanely hard. I basically waited until he woke up, told him I wasn’t happy anymore, and I didn’t want to be with him. I was nice, respectful, and gave him some explanation why I made the decision I did.
He was surprisingly calmer than I expected. He cried a little bit, but not much, which surprised me because the last time I broke up with him he was a wreck. He said he expected it because of the way I’ve been acting, but kind of sort of tried getting me back but didn’t push it much. Part of me feels that he wanted it to happen and he just didn’t want to be the one to do it. He left today, but he’s getting the rest of his stuff tomorrow.
I’m not that upset right now surprisingly. I don’t know if it’s because I wanted it to happen or because he didn’t react too badly, but I’m going to be okay. I know I am. It’s going to be different and weird, but I’m alright.
Thank you so much. You guys all honestly are the only people besides myself that encouraged me to make the decision. I appreciate you all.

Well done OP

Good call, OP. Much the best decision.

Well done OP.

Well done OP.

Take time to process all of this and think about what you can learn from this experience, what you would do differently.

Take some time and space.

It will be good for your head and spirit.

Well done Wilsonskye14! Be proud of yourself that you made the right decision & followed through.

Relax, find your inner balance again & when you are re-energised, go out there & follow your dreams.