I've told him I want to split up

[MadeAMessOfThis76]

I havnt been happy for a while, because my kids are involved and love him I thought i could wait it out until they were older but I can't do it

I feel awful on my children, he has raised them since they were literally 4 months old and 18 months old ( 3 & 5 now ) they think he us their daddy, i know I messed up with that

I fled a very long DV relstionship and DP seemed safe and the perfect family man. I can see now that I was still traumatised from my ex and sought comfort in the first person who gave it to me. Really he shouldn't of even been interested i was a shell of who i am now

Ive woken up i think and im disgusted eith myself for rushing into a new relationship and dragging my kids intonit

He is just one of life's victims he is always getting "bullied" but can't wait to s9end time with the same "bullies" slags peopke off constantly

Pretends he is a family man when is in not all he does is snap at us all

Every few months i say I'm not happy and he says he will change and nothing does

Indont even know if he will leave, this isn't the first time ive said i don't wqnt to be with him but it's the thought of the kids that sway me. But as much as they love him they arnt learning good qualities, i don't wqnt my son growing up thinking this is how a man behaves

Im sorry this isn't wrote well I'm upset, my mind is swimming with a thousand different thoughts

Your children are thankfully young enough to recover from this, he is a dad figure and as they get older you can explain the difference between a dad figure and bio parent. I imagine he will get worse as you become more assertive.

What is the housing situation? Are you financially independant?

Techway Do you think they will? I saw a thread on here the other day and most people said children should always know that step dad isn't their dad, i was planning on telling them when my youngest was slightly older

I won't say anything to them yet and so far they are blissfully unaware anything is going on

Yes im financially indepenant from him and i have family that would help out financially if need be, house is in my name too

He isnt awful but he isn't right for me. He cannot cope with the youngest temper tantrums and gets cross with me and i then in turn get cross at my youngest. It's a horrible cycle

Ive said its clearly not working the way your dealing with him so we need to change tactics, ive had a Really quiet day with both of them and as soon as he comes home he starts snapping

When we first met he made out like he was really helpful around the house and such a nice guy, i should of seen itbwas a warning that he kept describing himself as a nice guy, i think im alright but I don't go around telling people in nice

Ivw read up about covert narcasist and he fits the bill so well

My daughter is going to be really upset when I tell her

She knows the difference between bio dad and step dads as i have both but you gear awful stories about children thinking they wernt loved and it was their fault

Honestly if i could go back in time i woild never let them call him daddy, they were both babes in arms and i honestly thought I had met the man i was going to marry