Sick of my husband

[gingerbreadcat2]

I am sick to death of my husband. I feel I have a life sentence of misery with him.

He hasn't shown me any love or affection in years. All I get is insults and put downs, or just general shouting. Nothing I ever do is right. He's lazy and spends all day from 9am until midnight on his computer or Xbox. We never go out because he gets bored or tired and starts shouting and swearing at me to go Home. He doesn't even shower regularly, maybe every week. We haven't slept in the same bed for around 2 years. Sex is crap or non existent these days.

I've told him I've had enough. I want a family and for that I need someone on the same page as me. According to him if we had a child it's my problem financially and otherwise. I don't want to be with such a slob anymore. But he says we can't sell the house and split up because we are on a fixed mortgage. He thinks the mortgage and marriage certificate means I'm legally bound to him forever and can't do anything about it. He calls me a whore and says I must be cheating on him to want to leave.

I don't know what to do - my money all went into the house so I'm stuck living with him at the moment. I am only 28 I shouldn't be in this mess

Oh god, you can't even think of having a baby with him!

You need to get a solicitor's advice, but of course you're not tied to him forever.

I think it's useful to live inside your head for a while - imagine a new home, what you'd put where, the colours, pictures on the wall, what it would be like to have your friends round for a meal, how it would feel to wake up and know that that smelly slob isn't there... Plan, plan, plan. It'll get you through the next months.

Leave him leave him leave him. You deserve so much more.

He sounds like a miserable bastard. Money and the house can be sorted out, as pp said, get legal advice. You are only 28, you have your whole life ahead of you, but even if you were 98 i would still advise you to dump this tosser.

Just leave OP - you don’t have children and this sounds hopeless. How did you even end up marrying him?

LTB. Sounds like you got with him young and he’s ground you down. Fucked. Call a solicitor ASAP.

God he sounds awful. Leave. This isn’t how life should be.

Wow wow wow!! He is so wrong on so many levels!

Fixed mortgage does absolutely not mean you are tied in. As others said just a penalty if you leave before the end of fixed period.

Divorce this guy and the house finances will fall into that. You will require your share which either means him buying you out, or selling up. You are not tied to this man! Get out get a solicitor and everything will be fine x

Do not have a baby with him.

You are so lucky op that you are young and don't have children yet. It shouldn't be that difficult surely to end it?

Get out now while you can. Don't waste your life.

What a pig.

You are so young.

Go stay with family.

Get a solicitor.

Divorce his ass.

Live the rest of your life.

It really is that easy.

Staying with a pig like him is harder.

Reach out for support.

Do not have a child with him.
Imagine a new life without him, spend as much time as possible away from him - mentally if not physically.
You can sell the house but please try and find a way you can get out before waiting for that to happen.

He's abusive and minging OP.

Loads of people have a mortgage and still split up- you can do it.

In the meantime, please go on some contraception just in case.

28- You have decades ahead of you, you're still young and can have loads of great times without this disgusting abuser.

Good lord he sounds awful. How the hell did he persuade you to marry him, hypnosis?

I have a friend whose 'D' H said much the same about children. 'You can have one but you fucking bring it up, I'm not having anything to do with it.' She stayed and had one child and it broke her, trying to keep the baby quiet so he could keep up his 'hobbies' and sleep well at night.

Split up, OP. Get him out or you leave but start life again. You are so young and there is so much more to life than surviving with a slobby chancer.

He is just awful.
You want a family. You know you don't want a family with him. Therefore the marriage is over.
Phone a solicitor on Monday for advice.
You are not in anyway tied to him. The fixed rate mortgage is irrelevant.
In the divorce that will all be sorted out. The house will have to be sold and the proceeds split or he will have to buy you out if he wants to stay there.

You could move out and rent somewhere. Are you working at the moment and able to afford a small place to rent? Or you could move into a flat-share.
You are only 28. That's young. You have your whole life in front of you. Yes, you might have a couple of uncomfortable years while you establish yourself on your own but it will be worth it in the long run.

Start the process on Monday.

What @jeaux90 said

The fixed mortgage thing just means you pay a fee. See it as an investment in your future happiness. It doesn't mean you cannot sell the house.

28! So young, plenty of decent men out there. Why would you stay with this tosser. Being divorced isn't the end of the world. For my friend it meant she was free to meet the love of her life.

Please talk to Women's Aid and get some advice about how to leave safely.

Oh my god, leave! You've taken a great step by acknowledging the problem (by posting here) - I can't think of anyone who would suggest you stay with him as he sounds vile and abusive. You deserve so, so much more! Good luck

Seek legal advise asap. Think how free you will feel without him. Thank god you've no children with him.