Advice

[Lady39]

So, me and my OH have been together just over a year. We love eachother to bits and we've planned to move in together after lockdown.

Yesterday, during a conversation wires were crossed it didn't turn into an argument we just had words, nothing nasty. But after that he was cold with me for the rest of the day.
We sorted everything out last night.
But my thing is, because of how he was with me yesterday, today I just feel like I really dont care. I've got no interest in talking to him whatsoever.

I'm used to being treated badly in relationships but this one has been nothing like the rest. He loves me, he shows me and tells me daily.

I know what I'm doing is just putting a guard up to protect myself. I really should just get over it because it werent really that bad. I don't know, I'm just feeling low today and I'm really missing him.

Just needed to vent 😪

Hold off on the moving in together for at least another 6 months. At least. Monitor the situation. I couldn't be doing with ppl who takes huffs. I'd be wondering if it was the 'silent treatment' as a punishment.

You need to be extra careful when you've had nasty shits in your life. Even when you do the work to heal yoursel and learn how to spot them, they often still keep coming. Sharks like blood, and you already know that something about yours is extra tasty.

Never, ever feel you should 'just get over' someone inappropriate behaviour. If something upsets you by behaving innapropriately or cruelly, you have every right to feel that way. Your feelings are valid.

Dont set yourself up for another abusing.

*if someone upsets you

Thats what I think it was, the silent treatment. We both said at the beginning of the relationship we dont do silent treatment. Ive always spoke about things, sorted it and acted as normal. He said he never did it either but now I know that to not be true.
I just think its a shit way to act especially while on lockdown and he knows I'm missing him and he knows I'm struggling with it. He's apologised earlier today.
I honearly think though, not being able to see eachother could that just be amplifying things?

I suppose he apologised at least.
How did you know he was being cold with you if he isn't about?

It could just be he needed a wee bit of space.

But that being said, I'd keep a closer eye on things in future just incase. Pay attention to your feelings, dont just dismiss them for a quiet life. You dont want to get caught in that cycle.

It's a stressful time for everyone though.

He didn't talk to me like he normally does normally end of every phone phonecall we always say love ya, I did he didn't all i got was bye. He was still talking to me but he made it known and I felt uncomfortable.
Even in the way our texts were aswell, normally lots of kisses on the end, i still did that he didn't.
I asked him if he wanted me to leave him alone for a bit, he said he didn't want that but when we did speak there was no conversation on his part one word answers.

I'm feeling a little better about things as the day has gone on and though he has apologised all I'm left thinking is, how you be that cold towards someone knowing that its upsetting them and in the end it turned out to be nothing anyway.

I felt like utter crap yesterday

Lol how much do you'd talk in one day? xD

I'd be happy enough with a ten minute phone chat.
Still I guess everyone has their own normal.

Maybe avoid the texting for a bit. Easier for texts to be misunderstood. Though i suppose vanishing xx are never a good thing.

Probably all fine. Shiteheads dont normally appologise fir upsetting us afterall.

Lots haha its normal for us though saying that, since we've not been able to physically see eachother for a while we are in contact a lot more now.