Husbands parents cause fights

[Flyaway01]

Hi guys,

I’m 32, my partner and I got married 3 years ago, no kids as I don’t feel that we’re in the right place to start having kids together. I would love you guys advice on this. So here goes.. my husbands never made the effort with me, To start with they didn’t want him to marry me, they wanted him to marry their friends daughter (they hadn’t even met me) but in the end we got married. So here it starts, every other day they interfere and my husband takes it all in and gives me the silent treatment. At the beginning of the marriage I would make a lot of effort with his family, I would go over, being back gifts from holidays, cook them dinner etc as months went by I started to realise I wasn’t appreciated, I was never really invited to anything, parties, dinners, they would just tell my “husband oh tell her”. I stopped going it’s been a few months, the problem is my husband goes over to his parents and his brothers at least 5 times a week (I don’t say anything, they’re his family) the issue is once he’s back he acts strange with me, at the beginning he would tell me oh my mum said this or that ( your wife doesn’t like us she hates us) or they’ll just turn up and criticise things in our home - why are there so many shoes here - why is there clothes there - oh I bet you don’t cook for my son and so on.. on my birthday we were suppose to fly out (jan) his mother rang him telling how Ill she is, after we missed our flight she was suddenly fine. The manipulate him and cause a lot of arguments between us and I’m started to feel like it was a bad idea marrying him. We had a argument last week and he still isn’t talking to me, I have a throat infection and his dad turned up (although we’re suppose to be self isolating) his dad was demanding I come see him but I was tired from not being able to sleep all night and there starts the silent treatment from my husband. we only ever fight when it’s something to do with his parents or family. We’ve spoke on this topic so many times and each time the same happens. I’m at my wits end, it’s effecting me emotionally and mentally to the point sometimes I feel like hurting myself as it hurts a lot being treated that way over nothing I’ve done.

He is not good enough for you. They are not worthy of your search for approval.

End it. You are young. You deserve more. You can do better. You will do better.

I'd be off. You are at an important age - if you stay with him now you could lose options regarding having children. His family won't change. His relationship with them won't change. You're unhappy so make a decision now to get out.

Yes. Dont waste another minute.
32 is young is you dont sit passively in this miserable situation for a few more years.

I am so sorry that your DH has abandoned you.

He is not physically present.
He has emotionally detached.

He has finally fallen for their toxic bitterness.

He has thrown you under the bus.

There is nothing to save. Know that.

Hold on to you dignity. Don’t beg or plead.

Emotionally disconnect. Get all of your ducks in a row, see a solicitor. Have everything in place before leaving.

Believe me when I say that your new future life with babies with a new man will be infinitely more joyous than if you had tripped into breeding with this family (because that is what it would involve).

You really have dodged a bullet. Know that it is well and truly over, that you have some sadness, acceptance and adapting to get through before this fabulous new chapter starts.

I am sorry your DH has treated you so badly.

His family is toxic but by extension, given he's enabling their behaviour towards you and furthermore fuelling the flames by telling you what they've said and acting coldly towards you, so is he.

The reasons for this really don't matter.

He's demonstrated time and again that he isn't interested in being part of a family with you - he's far too invested in his childhood family unit even if that's to your detriment.

At 32 I wouldn't even hesitate to leave and not waste another day on this man child and his family.

He knows he's hurting you and doesn't care.

You're worth more than that.

Leave and don't look back.

Wow guys I’m so overwhelmed with all the replies, I didn’t expect so many. I’ll be reading each one now and replying. Thank you all so much for taking your time out, I appreciate it x

I agree with everyone else. ...there's nothing to save. 5 times a week visiting family is a lot. I'm very close to my family and still find that excessive.

He turns on you whenever he sees them and he quite simply doesn't have your back and he never will.