We broke up - now what?

[BustlingThrough]

Told my man of six years I needed some time. It was amicable but we’re both hurt. Things were heading towards a breakup because we just kept arguing. We had unhealthy communication in the relationship. That was the issue and it got tiring.

He left it as “I will give you space, but if you ever need me for anything I’m only a text or call away. I am sorry for anything bad I had said to you, I never meant it. I’m always here for you and always will be”
That broke my heart heart, he has always been so loyal. But I know it wasn’t working.

How can I stop feeling so depressed?

A friend of mine had just gone through exactly the same thing though they are still having coffee together since she moved out.
If something doesn't feel right and isn't making you happy then it really is time to let it go, for both of you.
Use the time to refocus, what was it that didn't work, what do you need/want at this moment in time, what do you want to happen differently next time in a relationship?. Then focus on you... who are you?, what do you want to do for you... this might be something daft like reading that book you've been meaning to, it might be a medium term goal... learn a language/A new sport / spend more time with friends etc it might be something for 10 years from now...that round the world trip/volunteering overseas / buying a house etc
It will be difficult especially if he can't/ won't accept our decision but sometimes we do need to be selfish and take care of our own needs. You will feel guilty, you will have times when you wonder 'What If..' and these take a while to fade.

Do try not to contact him which is very hard to do even when you've deleted his number, don't check up on him on social media and ask him to respect your wishes.
Remember that when a relationship ends you do have to give yourself time to get over it. Hope you feel better about it soon.

Sounds fair enough OP... he's not closed the door.. he's saying take time and decided what you want

Do you love him?
What are you arguing about?
Is it just complete incompatibility or are they things you can work on?

@katscamel some good questions to ask myself, Thankyou for your help.

@BumbleBeee69 Thats true, it does sound fair which is also really hard. There’s no arguing or anger. Right now I definitely need some space to think.

@hellsbellsmelons
I do love him, We argued about petty things. We both have realised that we haven’t communicated properly for a long time. But as there has been so much said in those arguments, it’s all just hit me now that’s I’m away from him. I’ve taken a step back and looked at the relationship. They arguments could be worked on, we both discussed how they could but right now I don’t feel I’m ready. He’s being loyal but I can’t expect him to wait forever can I? Hope that all makes sense.