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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

i feel like everyone thinks i'm crazy...

12 replies

jinniefromtheblock · 21/05/2020 10:24

...mainly because a couple of my old friends are posting about me on social media about how 'mental' and disturbed i am.

It really hurts.

Last year, I was in a really bad place. I had come out of an abusive relationship, became depressed and had a great deal of anxiety. I lived with my friend at the time only now I realise she made it so much worse. She had a severe lack of empathy and when I had anxiety spells she would tell me I needed to pull myself together and that I was way too sensitive. At the same time, she would always drag me out clubbing to try and meet guys.

Then I did meet a guy, but instead of being supportive, she became really bitter and told me I was too 'crazy' for him and he deserved better ( I think she may have liked him). We had a lot of arguments which always resulted in her gaslighting me and making me feel like I was mental. I ended up going back to therapy because of her and this only convinced her more I was crazy.

I moved in with my boyfriend when lockdown began because I needed to cut her out of my life. It's now a few months since I left her but she's now sending my personal messages to other friends in a group chat and they're all laughing me. These are messages I sent her back in a time where I was really distressed and they make me seem like I'm super disturbed. I really just want to forget the hell that was last year but she keeps bringing things up. She's also been calling me a freak on social media which has upset my whole family.

I haven't said a word and I've been ignoring everything she does but it hurts so bad. I feel like I'm going to be known as the 'mentally insane' one forever and nothing I do will ever make me appear stable or normal again :(

OP posts:
RockThrills · 21/05/2020 10:32

I moved in with my boyfriend when lockdown began because I needed to cut her out of my life.

This part of your post jumped out at me. Are you replacing one codependent relationship for another? If so I don't think you've truly worked through what you need to?

What she's doing isn't nice and isn't something a good friend would do.

jinniefromtheblock · 21/05/2020 10:40

I can see where you are coming from but my boyfriend is a much more stable guy than any of my exes and I do believe being with him has been healthy for me. We give each other lots of space, his friends all love me and I do not feel co-dependent on him. Living together is something we've been planning for a while (we just hurried it along due to the lockdown).

OP posts:
Closetbeanmuncher · 21/05/2020 10:48

The people laughing aren't your friends OP, block them all.

Fuck what they say and what they think, surround yourself with new, supportive people (when able).

What concerns me is you seem to be manipulated and become unsure if yourself very easily which puts you in a vunerable position especially in terms of relationships and potential abuse.

Charles11 · 21/05/2020 10:50

I think this is one of those situations where you say ‘yes, I was distressed and suffering with emotional difficulties and my mental wellbeing wasn’t good. What kind of friend are you to try to belittle me for this and make me feel worse?’
They all sound like awful people.

It’s good you feel supported by your partner and it looks like it’s time to move on from these horrible people.
Focus on your own goals so you can live an independent life if you need to.

growinggreyer · 21/05/2020 11:39

Are you part of this group chat? Just post something along the lines of the PP above and then delete them all. You need time to heal and this lockdown is the perfect time to do it. Have a week or two of complete digital detox. You will find that you don't miss hearing all the bitching and it really doesn't matter. They are like chimpanzees flinging shit around. Yes, it's not nice but no it doesn't really affect your life.

zipzap02 · 21/05/2020 11:44

They're not your friends. I really think you should cut them off. So sorry. If I was your friend, I would never , ever say something like that. It's bullying.

Closetbeanmuncher · 21/05/2020 12:21

They are like chimpanzees flinging shit around. Yes, it's not nice but no it doesn't really affect your life

Precisely!

hellsbellsmelons · 21/05/2020 12:44

Please block her and anyone else who is bullying you or enabling her bullying.
You do NOT need negativity in your life.
Time to cut it out.
It may seem hard and it will be at first.
But the freedom you will feel when you aren't checking on what they are saying will be immense!
Time for YOU OP.
These vile humans are not your friends.
Time to block and move on! You've come so far. Don't let them drag you down again.

jinniefromtheblock · 21/05/2020 12:53

Thank you - I wasn't actually part of the group chat but I was with a mutual friend when she posted the messages and she showed me what was being said. Thankfully the mutual friend then removed herself from the chat so I do have people who will stick up for me. I know she's nothing more than a bully but it just sucks so much to know someone is still out there making fun of me and discussing my failures and deep traumas like its light entertainment. All I want is to prove that I'm worthy and strong and confident and knowing there is something that's convinced that will never happen just bugs me.

OP posts:
bertiebottseveryfalvourbeans · 21/05/2020 13:00

Just address them all on social media (privately) along the lines of "Isn't it strange what insecure, lonely fully grown women will do to each other" then block them (on socials, physically and mentally) and enjoy some time with your boyfriends OP Flowers

bertiebottseveryfalvourbeans · 21/05/2020 13:00

*boyfriend

Dillo10 · 21/05/2020 13:12

The only person you need to prove that to is YOURSELF. Keep working on your own strength and confidence. Unfortunately there are nasty people out there and you're better off without them. If you really can't resist saying something, I would probably go direct to the ringleader of the group and ask whether there is anything you did last year that affected her personally, otherwise you cannot see a reason to continue talking about this as it's in the past. Politely suggest that she finds a better way to spend her time as you would hate to have to involve the police or your solicitor (believe it or not, just the words scare people enough most of the time)

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