Kicking him out

[userxx]

I'm looking for advice for a friend.

She's been in a relationship with someone for around 4 years, he moved into her property very quickly and she soon realised he had a fuckload of issues. She now needs him gone for good, previous attempts to kick him out have made her life a living hell.

Does anyone know the legal route to go down? Would an injunction work? He also owes her a substantial amount of money which she's hoping to recover.

Any advice would be a massive help.

Has he ever been violent?

Honestly, I don't know. He's definitely abusive though, she's had to prove she's at work many times as he accuses her of being in a hotel with someone. He has a massive drug habit which brings on psychosis and paranoia.

Does she own or rent?

Who’s name is the property?

If she rents it I. Her name only she can get him out, likewise if she is the owner.

If she is afraid of him, she can contact women’s aid to get advice on how to have him removed.

And is his name on the mortgage/deeds/rent book?

Personally I'd write off the money. Drug users don't generally pay you back and concentrate on getting him out.

If it's her house, I'd turf him out with the polices help if needed. I put up with a lengthy amount of crap when I got rid of my ex. They usually find someone else to bum off eventually.

Does she own or rent? If renting is he in the tennancy?

If its a rental or owned property, if his name is not on the tenancy/mortgage/deeds then from a legal standpoint it is easy to get rid - she simply needs to tell him to go, change the locks and give his stuff back. Sounds like it wouldn't be that easy in practice though.

It would be easier to advise if we had more info about the situation and people involved. You say it went badly last time she tried to kick him out - how so?

She owns the property, he isn't on the mortgage. Women's aid is a good idea. I think she was looking at doing it legally as he will be a nuisance, constant phone calls, turning up at the house at 3am and waking the neighbours up.

When she's kicked him out previously he's stayed in hotels which she has paid for. It's given her a few days respite.

@MyOwnSummer He threatens to take his own life, constant calls, rings her family, turns up knocking on the door. She's relented and let him back in just for an easier life. She's now hit her point where she knows he will never change and no amount of support and help will stop his habit.

She needs to harden her heart and just kick him the fuck out WITHOUT paying his hotel bills.

No kids are involved either, thank god.

She’ll need to toughen up and hoof him out. Where he goes then really isn’t her problem.
Should he come back and start to cause a scene, she must call the police and have him removed.

Yep, I will have a chat with her and try and get it through to her she needs to harden up.

Could she request a new phone number or switch services for a new one? Could she afford to have some security cameras installed at the exits, have the locks changed (front and back if he has keys for both, and some extra bolts), and his stuff dropped off at a relatives? If he turns up at 3am and wakes the neighbours and shit, she's best ignoring him, one of them will probably crack and ring the police, but not her circus, not her monkey, not her problem anymore. Unless he tries to damage her property or assault her, in which case she'd be best phoning the police herself. She should also try to have as little routine as possible , not going to the shops the same time every week, vary her route home from work etc, this will make it harder for him to follow/stalk her. If he's violent maybe a rape alarm wouldn't be a bad idea.

It might be worth speaking to her local police crime prevention team (assuming her area has one), I had a visit from a guy from ours once, when getting rid of my ex, and he gave me a lot of useful advice (including the varying your routine stuff), and a sort of goody bag with bolts, alarms etc.

If he's really bad she could sell up, move and ask friends and family to not tell him her new address.

Women’s Aid would be a good start, to get advice. She nay need an injunction or non molestation order if he is turning up at the property or being threatening.
She also needs to stop giving mixed messages- paying for hotels, or letting him back in, simply encourages him to keep pestering her. She needs to set a date for his eviction and stick to it. Put his possessions outside in bin bags and change the locks if necessary.

He does own the house, he is abusive.

Tell her to call the police for him to be removed.

He's a drug addict and she is afraid of him.

Ask the police for help to have him removed..

Doesn't own the house.

She needs to go down the legal route I would say. All this paying for a hotel hasn't helped in the long run. I don't agree with dumping somebody's bags in this case. And I agree with speaking to the local police if she is afraid he might turn violent.

There is an organisation called DV Assist. They help people get court orders to keep abusive ex’s away. Google them and send her a link.

Sounds like my ex. Tell him to leave, get his stuff out then send a message saying she don’t wish to have further contact and if he contacts her She will call the police. Then block him on everything to prevent the calls, emails, messages etc.
The hard part is if he turns up at 3am, or at work or wherever she needs to call the police. It’s shit, but need to be done. They can warn off/ deal if it gets bad enough and will do a risk assessment and can help her access other support if it gets bad enough.Women’s aid may be able to help with a non molestation order if he does harass her, but you need to be able to show something, he might do is unlikely to be enough unless there is a real history of violence/threats.
I didn’t need a non mol in the end as got a restraining order via court during the harassment case. It did help, though took a couple of relapses and going to prison to actually stick- hopefully has done now.
The police may also be able to help with checking security on her home (if they get involved ask whether they have the bobby scheme in her area).
It’s really difficult and she may need support to hold firm, but sounds like you’re a good friend.

Re phone vodaphone told me they would switch my number for free if I had proof of the harassment conviction. I didn’t go that route in the end as he’d been on remand and I wanted it done before the hearing in case he was released- however they were really helpful & understanding.

Did she call the police about his harassment when she tried to end it before?

If there has been abuse (and it doesn't have to have been physical), she could apply for a non-molestation order and an occupation order.

The first application is on a without notice basis and then there is a further hearing after the papers are served on the Respondent. Based on recent experience on behalf of clients, it is unlikely that the court will grant an occupation order without notice to her BF but hopefully she would succeed in getting one at the follow up hearing. In the interim, she might be able to get an order on a without notice basis which regulates which parts of the property he can enter and when. In any event, the non-molestation order should, in theory, prevent him harassing her while they are still sharing the property. Breach of a non-molestation order is a crime and she can call the police.

If she contacts the National Centre for Domestic Violence (www.ncdv.org.uk/), they will be able to advise further on the process and perhaps refer her to a law firm which will assist her in preparing the papers free of charge. My firm is involved in the scheme (as are many others) and I have assisted on quite a few applications which is why I'm familiar with the process. I should stress that she doesn't have to have assistance in preparing the papers if she is confident preparing them herself but I think our clients have usually found it helpful to have assistance with the papers.