ex is still badmouthing me after turning friends against me

[LOrchid]

Me and my ex broke up in January.

After nearly 3 years together, our relationship began to breakdown. The problems started when I went back to uni and made a bunch of friends. He got jealous and whenever I'd invite him out he'd be difficult with them or he'd say something offensive. Whenever I called him out on how rude he was he would tell me I was being oversensitive and call me and my friends 'snowflakes'. He began to chip away at my sanity and would convince me I was crazy.

The breaking point came when he read my mental health diary and found a lot of entries about my difficult relationship with him. He showed it to everyone including my uni friends, saying "look I knew she was crazy, look at all this stuff she's written about you". It's true - I did write things about my friends and they were rather upset about it. Most of them forgave me but I don't think they can look at me in the same way. A few of them have ditched me and i'm horrified and ashamed.

Obviously I broke up with my boyfriend immediately, moved out of his house and tried to move on. But yesterday I logged onto social media for the first time in months and I saw he was sending messages about me to one of the friends who ditched me about his "unhinged ex" and how I should be locked up in a padded cell. I blocked him of course but it really stung.

I don't even care about him anymore because I know he's abusive, but that diary had a lot of dark and unhealthy thoughts and it also had things that hurt other people. I can never take back and it haunts me that him and my friends are always going to remember that and some people are even siding with him! I just don't know how to carry on sometimes.

Did he use your full name online OP ?

He was definitely out of order to read your diary - which sounds like more of a journal - and even worse to tell your friends about the contents. That is such a daft, unkind thing to do, whatever possessed him?

Learn shorthand or develop your own shorthand/code to write in the journal from now on. I doubt anything like that would happen again but you can't trust anyone.

Your ex boyfriends sounds really stupid and immature and you're well out of the relationship. A decent chap would just keep quiet and move on, he wouldn't be badmouthing you on social media.

I hope you manage to make up with your friends but you will make new friends.

Better things are ahead.

He used my first name

I think what possessed him was the fact he was saying for months how I was just using these friends to make him jealous, and so he took the oppourtunity to show them screenshots of the journal in order to say "Hah, I was right". This was at the point he knew I was leaving him anyway so he probably felt he had nothing to lose.

Well he sounds like the unhinged one! Who does something like that!! Learn a lesson from this. Always use shorthand for writing and use a locked diary or keep it somewhere secure. I hope you’ve made some new friends? Try and move on from anyone who was involved in this incident. You’ll feel so much better. Block everybody on social media. It’s a shame you wrote about your friends. Use this as an opportunity to get some therapy? If you’re talking to somebody weekly you might not need to use a diary

OP.. it says more about him than it does about you lovely..

Have a similar problem so share your pain!
Had a BPD episode, ex has shared it with loads of family/friends and now been blocked/unfriended and ignored by quite a few! She is still laughing about stopping me seeing the kids!