Any advice on impotence please

[Mooninthesky]

Not sure where to turn so thought I'd ask you guys.

My bf has impotency issues that he won't talk about. It's now reached the point where each night he preempts the situation by either saying he's got a headache, he's tired or something along those lines and it's leaving me incredibly frustrated mentally. I feel that we can work on it together but he won't discuss it at all when I've tried to talk to him. We have a great relationship otherwise but I feel this has really come between us like a big elephant in the room.

We've been together almost 2 years and he's suffered from impotence to a degree for all of that time. We've spoken about it once in the early days when he said that he'd been like it his whole life. But since that time he's clammed up.

I've sort of given up trying to approach him physically and am finding it hard to broach the subject.

I don't want to throw away what we have but I'm finding that it's spilling over into my thoughts on a regular basis and it's getting hard to deal with

Any ideas on how I can try to resolve this round be great. Thank you 😊

Sadly - there probably isn’t solution to this. Unless it’s a medical issue that can be fixed, and he is willing to do it - there isn’t hope this would get better.
It may, of course, be psychological - but again he needs to want to fix it.
It’s a bad sign that he isn’t willing to discuss it and be open with you about what’s going on. Makes any sort of improvement quite improbable.

So - either you give up on sex; or agree that you can have sex outside your relationship; or simply leave. There isn’t a happy ending here.
Two years isn’t that long and you are better off cutting your losses.

Yeah, pretty much what MMmomDD said. There are various things that can address impotence problems, but there isn't any cure for refusal to talk about problems in a relationship.

If the cause is physical he needs to see a GP. If it's psychological he needs to see some kind of counsellor. If he doesn't know which it is I'd probably start with the GP to rule the simpler things out. But any of those processes are going to require communication with you as well.

I'm sure it's very embarrassing and one can sympathise, but you can't be expected to live your life without sex just because he wants to avoid talking about it.

So he had the same problem in previous relationships? How old is he? Could it be possible that he has a porn addiction?

He refuses to communicate. He is clearly not concerned about your needs and how you feel. This is what you want for your life? A dead end relationship with someone who you can't discuss important issues? End it and move on before you become completely miserable.

My DH has issues like this when I first met him.

After a few awkward "goes" at it I mentioned to him (obviously in a much more delicate and nicer way) that what he thought was normal... wasn't. Said it had been like that his whole life - we went to a sex therapist and within a couple sessions it was totally fixed.