My wife is leaving me.

[Mrxdz]

My wife met someone else a few weeks ago and three days into her new relationship she decided he was the one and she is going to leave me for him. We've been together 15 years and married less than two years. I feel like i never really got a proper go at mirage. My wife says she loves me and doesn't regret getting married. But over the past year she said she that whilst she loves me, she doesn't love me as a husband. I've suggested mirage councling, but her mind is made up. As difficult as this is for me to hear, i have to accept it. But it's not that easy. I guess the reason am trying this is that I want someone to tell me it will be okay and that the feelings of sorrow and heartbreak will ease over time. She says that she wants to be friends. I have told her that I don't think am capable of being her friend after this, am not sure if i can. Has anyone elses partner left them unexpectedly? How did you cope? How long did it take for the emotional pain to go away? Can you really be friends with someone after they have had an affair and left you?

Hmm well...sorry about your situation. I have not experienced this but my DHs first wife had an affair and left him, he was unemployed and had moved for her job. He met me two months later and he did seem like a bird with a broken wing, but it all worked out ok. He had no interest in trying to be friends with her though, she broke his heart and he just wanted to build a new life with me. He was honest with me that he was a bit wary and wanted to take things slow, so we just spent time together for a few months and only took things further when he felt ready. He's a wonderful husband with no resentment, and considers his ex to have done him a favour (they were together 7 years, married 2).
You'll be ok!

It will absolutely be okay in the end, much though it hurts now, but I would strongly advise you to take a complete break from her and not try to be friends before you have healed (and decide whether you do want to be friends with someone who's betrayed you.) Of course she wants to be friends with you so that she can feel less guilty, but you don't need to make her feel better - that's not your problem. For context, my partner (we are two women) left me after 8 years for someone else and it hurt massively and eventually I just decided that I didn't want to be in touch with her for a time. A year or so later I met someone infinitely nicer, she broke up after another 8 years with the woman she'd left me for, and finally we are friends again, but it really did take years. You need to take care of yourself and don't let her insist on a friendship you don't want and may never want. Good luck!

Sorry your having to go through this. It really is on par with a bereavement! Statistically it can take up to 2 years to begin to get over it. Currently it's really acute for you, as you accept the situation as it is it moves in to sadness. That for me is hard to quantify in terms of time. With regard to being 'friends' forget it! Your not going to be going to the cinema or a game of bowling.
To remain amicable would be the best one could hope for. All I would suggest for now is that be as kind as you can to yourself, try not to spend to much down time and keep talking to friends & family.

No, don't be 'friends,. A friend doesn't have an affair. If it's not working then they either try, or separate before starting a new relationship. Cut all contact and feel angry at what she's done. It helps with the grief, and stops it turning in on you. It will take time but you will get over her.

Sorry to read this OP... It will take time and it's a painfully long process.. but you will make it through to the other side.. you will feel happy again feel like laughing and enjoy life

So 3 days with this guy have erased 15 years with you. She found it that easy.

That's what she thinks of you.

Fuck her and her friendship.

Yes, it'll get easier but it will take a long time, sorry it's happened to you.

She only wants to be friends with you Incase it doesn't work out with her new guy she's left you for.

She's made her bed so she must lie in it. Don't stay friends with her as it won't allow you to fully let go. Your going have to be strong and cut all contact with her.

I don't know what it is, but my intuition is telling me she'll come crawling back at some point.

Cut all contact don't message her or call her for anything. And let's see how she reacts.