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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help...ManyVids🤔?

6 replies

CalculusManor · 19/05/2020 11:07

Looking for some advice . So to try and summarise. Im a sensitive person and I tend to get " vibes" . When this occurs I tend to find myself preoccupied and searching for answers. So recent " vibe" has been regarding my partner possibly using porn /cam sites. No idea how this started it may have been me noticing he had a couple of porn gal type connections on social media. But since He has many friends on social media and doesnt know even half of them I put it down to naivety on his part.
So cut to the other night where I ask him if he does use porn of late. To which he responds ,no he doesn't, out of respect for me. I was quite happy with his response but unfortunately something was still niggling. The next evening he is sat on his phone email account open. I caught glance of an email but cant remember exactly what it said. Was along the lines of .." lots of vids" I didnt think anything of it , it was his behaviour that raised an eyebrow. He seemed to go very excitable and clicked on another email that had a voucher code thing. I thought it odd so it didnt sit well with me. I did some research ( Im not a porn user so donk know names of websites.) Iv reached the conclusion it was an email from ManyVids? Tell me folks do you think Im crazy and putting it all together to fit with my current mindset.? I have a problem with it as I have discovered porn of boyfriends in past and relationship never recovered. I really dont know how to navigate this. Im sure that if Im overinglating this and discuss it with him I may look like a complete idiot. Any wisdom..Sorry if this is a jumble. So much pressure at the moment with lockdown. Just need a listening ear /advice . Thankyou

OP posts:
CalculusManor · 19/05/2020 12:21

BumpingConfused

OP posts:
ArthurBloom · 19/05/2020 12:49

Just to ask, what is it you are looking for from this?

I am happy to give advice but what is your question? :)

DontInjectBleach · 19/05/2020 13:20

It sounds like you suspect something and often we sense things we can't put our finger on. It's not a crime to watch porn nor even lie to save your feelings but there may be more to it than this. One does not have to enter email addresses to watch porn - that suggests something more...

CalculusManor · 19/05/2020 14:15

@ArthurBloom Reading back I see my question is unclear . I feel catch 22 with this one. I cant let it lie as I reakon this is a cam site that would probably involve financial transactions. And I feel its the same as some kind of infidelity/paying for sex. By this very token he would want to hide it as he knows it will endanger our relationship. Whats the best way of going about discussing this do you think?
@DontInjectBleach
Thats what I think , its more than meets the eye but I have no idea how to navigate this ....Im now untterly convinced it was the website but theres that margin of error. Not the only time I have seen an email that concerned me. There was the dating site one too.

OP posts:
SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 19/05/2020 14:19

Are you sure it wasnt spam? I got 3 emails like that today, can he possibly just be being a bit dim when it comes to phishing emails?

To be honest with you, describing yourself as "sensitive" and saying you get "vibes" sounds a bit like you're trying to put a positive spin on anxiety and paranoia, even if its just mild. Try not to let your imagination run away with you - using porn is very normal.

DontInjectBleach · 19/05/2020 14:40

I would try and gather some evidence before discussing as he won't admit for sure. If he uses another device - a PC or tablet - then you might be able to look on there if you can't access his phone to check.

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