What do you consider cheating?

[Lsquiggles]

Just read a thread about people not wanting to know if their partner has cheated, with some people saying if it's just a kiss they're not bothered about it etc

If my OH cheated on me I'd definitely want to know about it so I could ltb because that means he has no respect for me or our relationship. And I'd still be royally pissed and deeply hurt if it was 'just' a kiss.

Is it just me? What do you consider cheating?

Did you get that from a Regency Romance novel?

Anything they wouldn’t want to tell you about, or wouldn’t want you to find out about. Anything they are doing with someone else they should only be doing with you. Anything that compromises your own sexual health and you have no control over. He’s taking away your choices.

@BitOfFun Did you get that from a Regency Romance novel?

No, it's what I saw him doing with my "friend"

My ex confessed to kissing another women at an xmas party. I suspect there was some touching/feeling go in as well.
What shocked me was that I wasn't bothered. Made me realise I needed to leave him.

I found out my partner has been sexting other women for the past year. I think that’s hurt me more than if he had a drunken kiss and he told me about it. It’s the fact, although he’s never met these people, I’ve been living a lie for a year and it’s now made me question every single thing we’ve done together. If I found out and we weren’t in lockdown there is no chance I’d still be living with him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Doing anything that you would feel the need to hide from your partner - cheating.

Talking to someone on an intimate level in which you would hide from your partner, cheating. Holding hands, cheating, kiss, cheating. Anything upwards of this, fucking cheating.

@Batmanandbobbin

That would really hurt me too. I hope you can bin him off after the lockdown x

Kissing, sex, emotional affairs, picture sending

Gone

I’d want to know every time and where I was whilst he was doing it.

He could tell me as i frog marched him out my front door!

Emotional affairs, kissing, shagging...basically anything that they should be doing with you, but they are conducting in secret.

I'm in the minority but a kiss wouldn't bother me. I've been cheated on before (ONS) and forgiven that, too. There's more to a relationship than sex and monogamy, IMO.

@styleseeker72
Yeah, that's absolutely fine- each couple should set their own boundaries and stick to them.
I think it's the dishonesty that hurts most people.

Interesting to hear all your opinions! Obviously it's each to their own but I'd be hurt and embarrassed if my partner was openly kissing or cuddling someone else at a party, drunk or not

@Yallreadyforthis I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd definitely be upset if my partner cheated! But it's not an instant relationship ender for me as it is for others (no problem with that, of course). A real-life situation is never that black and white and I'm a strong believer in giving people the opportunity to redeem themselves.

No one is perfect and I've made plenty of mistakes in the past myself.

@xGAIAx- that was really rude of me; I'm sorry.

As with others it's the dishonesty. I've actually given dp permission to sleep with other women as long as it's safe and he tells me beforehand. Hes never taken me up on it so far though. He comments on nudes and watches porn (alone and together) it doesnt bother me as long as he doesnt try to hide it.

However with ex, I caught him chatting women up online and he also had a "secret" instagram he thought I didnt know about. I considered this cheating. It's all about the honesty