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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Stalker ex

13 replies

PumpkinP · 17/05/2020 22:45

Does anyone know anything about this?? My sister thinks her ex may be spying on her, she broke up with him and changed her number, she ended up giving him the new one (I don’t know why) then she decided it was over for good and he kept calling her even though she blocked his number. He called her off loads of different numbers and then her phone started ringing from her old number! So some how he’s managed to get her old number to call her on it now on earth is that even possible? Just now she has called me as she was on the phone to a male friend and she said that suddenly on the phone she could just hear a loud screaming noise, the friend has said it wasn’t anything in his back ground but she’s adamant it was on the phone as it was so loud she had to move it away from her ear. Is it possible that he could have hacked her phone and listen to conversations. Don’t know if that’s even a thing? But I’m concerned for her and am trying to persuade her to go to the police as this guy seems dangerous. He also said that when he called her from her own number that he knows what she’s been up to for the last 3 hours.

OP posts:

alexdgr8 · 17/05/2020 22:48

she needs to contact the police pronto.

LycraLovingLass · 17/05/2020 22:51

I would request a new sim and not give him the number. Block both previous numbers straight away just in case he does find out.

I don't know how he would be able to get her old number though. Was it pay and go or contract?

TorkTorkBam · 17/05/2020 22:57

It sounds more like he has bugged the house if he knows what she has been doing for the last three hours. Tbh, I'd be setting up a test to see if it is true, e.g. talking loudly about going on Tinder, phoning you to talk about the (imaginary) hot new guy she met, how stalker ex is completely impotent and they never had sex successfully (or similar lie likely to drive him to make contact if he is listening in).

If it is real. Call the police. If it is him blagging, block more numbers and ignore his messages.

Original poster

PumpkinP · 17/05/2020 22:57

I know it’s so strange I can’t even imagine how it’s possible, it was a contract and she called her network provider and asked to change the number so how was he able to call her off her own number But I’ve seen it as she sent a pic, she said when she blocks him he will alway call her off loads of different number and she said she thought he was going to the shop and buying loads of SIM cards until he called her off her own number.

OP posts:

TorkTorkBam · 17/05/2020 22:57

Doesn't do any harm to call the police does it? Why would she not?

Original poster

PumpkinP · 17/05/2020 23:01

I think she thinks it will make it worse but I can’t see any other option. I personally wouldn’t feel safe at home (she lives alone.)

OP posts:

SkySmiler · 17/05/2020 23:02

FFS - do not antagonise a deranged ex @TorkTorkbam - definitely contact the police.

Dery · 17/05/2020 23:05

Agree - she should go to the police. This could escalate but a warning from the police may be enough. Does she live alone? Could she come to you or you go to her for a few days? (I know it’s lockdown but you are allowed to go to safety from a DV situation and I think this would count).

LudaMusser · 17/05/2020 23:09

She needs to get a new number, again, and this time NOT give him the new number

Sounds like she's got issues with moving on. Why get a new number then give him it!

Ringing her with her old number is weird, did he have the sim? If he's a tech geek I'm sure anything is possible. Technology is out there so that any of our phones can be hacked and listened into, even when your phone is just sat there not being used!

There's a reason why people put tape over the camera on their tablets!

Susanna85 · 17/05/2020 23:10

New phone, new number and new network!

Worth making a journal of anything he does to make contact. The police may ask for this.

Original poster

PumpkinP · 17/05/2020 23:17

I have no idea why she gave it to him tbh but I think she had a weak moment and called him, she has the same SIM card as she said she just called the phone company and they changed the number. I will tell her she has to go to the police, I can’t go there as I have children but she can come here.

OP posts:

SpillTheTeaa · 17/05/2020 23:18

Fuck. She needs to phone the police.
What he is doing with her number is a crime in itself.

'Scam artists now use technology to make a person's caller ID show their own name and phone number-making it appear as though a person is calling him or herself. ... Under the Federal Truth in Caller ID Act of 2009, using caller ID spoofing to defraud someone is a crime.'

I've seen a lot of these stalking programmes on the TV and she needs to go to the police. He'll end up hurting her.

He needs locking up.

Original poster

PumpkinP · 17/05/2020 23:32

Omg that’s so scary! It’s literally terrified me when she told me, she came off the phone to him after an argument and then the phone started ringing again, she looked at it and saw her name but she thought it was my daughter, (they have the same name) so she answered it and it was him then she checked the number and seen it was her old number. Also she said her email address comes up when you click on the call details but she says she never gave it to him? This is so scary.

OP posts:

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