Gradual realisation. I need out.

[ThanksMateThanksMate]

I say gradual, but obviously everything is magnified at the moment and it feels like I've hit a wall and realised I can't do "the rest of my life" with my DP.
I might feel differently tomorrow but in honesty, these moments have been happening more often.
Here's the thing. I don't want anyone else. I really cannot be arsed with future romance and adventure but this tells me I'm only staying with him so I'm not single.
For info. I'm nearly 50 (htf did that happen), 3 teenagers (to exH) , biggish mortgage and poor ambition, career-wise.
I know he'd settle and stay for comfort.
I just fee "uurgh "

Sending big hugs .
I could have written that myself .
However last night I hit that wall . Told him I wanted a divorce . Took everything I have , as I know he’s going to make me life hell . Feeling pretty scared about what the future holds , financially etc , but staying isn’t an option any more
My advice to you is don’t spend another 5 years trying to jolly yourself along . The years go by quick . I’m 53, don’t leave it till you are older and you look back and regret the years you wasted in a marriage that want giving everything you need or want.

Ive felt like this for a while too.
Need to find the strength to leave. Im 34 and i kno it will never get better. Hes a good man, but we are just so different now.
Good luck to you both