Choosing money

[RealHousewifeUK]

Ok so a very controversial post. .

Have any of you entered into a relationship for the added benefit of financial security or lifestyle that your partner or spouse could bring?

Have you ever maybe forfeited some of your wants or ignored some things you dont like for that security or lifestyle?

If yes, did it all work out in happiness or quite the opposite?

(Im new here and created an account to ask this hence the unoriginal username)

Can't say it ever crossed my mind. I'm financially independent, always have been but randomly have knowledge of 2 relationships where this was the exact case. One couple lasted approx 4years before he was declared bankrupt and lost everything including the wife. The other couple lost pretty much everything due to financial mismanagement/misplaced trust. They managed through it and are still together 15 years on.

Prostitute is not really a fair comparison. An Asset Marriage Executive would be a more suitable term. A guy I know wife left him after discovering he was having an affair with her sister. Her settlement with him was £250k. She then moved in with her ex her ex husbands arch enemy next door. After their divorce she married the cockney fool and 5 years later divorced him after he finished building a 5 bedroom executive house in his garden. She winded up with the sole proceeds of the sale of that house in the divorce at another £625 K. She then went on to marry an Oxford wine dealer and property magnate. He died of a massive heart attack and again she inherited in excess of £5 million. Some might say poor misfortune however those that knew her may beg to differ.

The amount of times I seen people on here commenting on how stupid women are for not being married before having a child because they are not ‘financially protected’ and they should run straight down to the registry office 😂🙄 What’s the difference?

I’m financially independent but I also wouldn’t marry a man who isn’t... so I guess I’m a gold digger 😉

@arrowhearts
Exactly, the purpose of marriage is money, not love. To be specific, its still usually about the woman securing access to the man's money should the relationship break up.

The amount of times I seen people on here commenting on how stupid women are for not being married before having a child because they are not ‘financially protected’ and they should run straight down to the registry office 😂🙄 What’s the difference?

People suggesting marriage before children is to make sure people are making informed decisions about their finances and legal arrangements so don't turn up 5 years later saying that cohabiting partners should automatically become entitled to someone's assets by default because it turns out that giving up your job for 5 years to be a SAHP and facilitate DP's career doesn't hold any weight in law. If they were married then their contribution would be recognised in the event of a split.

It doesn't mean everyone should be married, but if anyone is thinking of putting their financial security on one side for the good of the household then marriage is a legal contract to recognise this.

Otherwise there's the usual clichés about 'we don't need a piece of paper... It's just a party... We've been together 8 years and our friends have been divorced after 2 years'.

The only thing that does annoy me is that refusal not to marry if someone has assets is praised in a woman and a red flag if a man. Everyone should be free to choose whether they want their affairs legally joined or not.

@pixiecircles how long did it take them?

@chandlermbing I wasn't expecting the end, I was expecting a different type of happy ending. But yes, i would agree if you two aren't loving affectionate or have fun with each other then your child will not learn the right way to love

@arrowhearts at least he was a good man. Would you say you were missing the spark?

@dontdisturbmenow yes I agree! Pretense isn't nice. Id certainly hope people would have love and enjoyment in their relationships.

@RingaRosie thats lovely

@Mum4Fergus I hope couple 2 manage to work it out

@Raidblunner it sounds like she is set for life now! However one could argue that some people find themselves in circles where the chances of meeting others with wealth are higher.

@arrowhearts great point. I think there would be a lot of encouragement to get married to someone with money and or assets to secure the future.

@Scott72 I think its more commonly women based on men being more successful in this present day but it will happen the other way around. However saying that once upon a time the idea of marriage led by men...seems very different....

@LolaSmiles - good point and argument!

OP NOBODY on here is ever going to admit that they married for financial security... NOBODY...

All relationships are in some way transactional. I’m pretty sure people married to wealthy spouses, with the nice house and the nice car are willing to put up with more than people in different situations. They have more to lose in terms of lifestyle and comfort, so the activation barrier to leaving is higher. If you have a complete deadweight of a husband who (on top of being a prat) doesn’t contribute financially (or maybe even has a negative impact financially), it’s much easier to walk away. That doesn’t mean people don’t and won’t LTB if he’s rich, it just means that it might take longer before they get to that point. I don’t know if I know anyone who ‘chose money’ in the sense that you’re talking about, but when I look at my friendship circle, we all had the option of highly qualified partners with decent earning potential. We also all have decent earning potential if our own, though some of us have let our careers slide somewhat since having children